Saturday, January 05, 2008

princebot vs. princebot

It's been awhile since I've had a good Prince-focussed, and that won't be this one. This is a post dedicated to the lovely ladies of little talent and even less clothing, the Queens (or should I say Princesses?) of his many protegees, Vanity (a.k.a Rev. Denise Matthews) and Apollonia (a.k.a Patricia Kotero)

As the legend goes, Prince and Vanity were in a club and when they saw each other, they stopped and stared because they were so similar.

Vanity and Prince

Vanity was, surprise surprise, an aspiring singer/actress/dancer/etc and obsessed with the concept of creating an empire of groups doing his music as an outlet for different sounds, Prince decided to form a group around her, despite her extremely weak voice. First, however, Denise Matthews needed a new name. Prince suggested the extremely classy Vagina, which Denise wisely refused. Finally they settled on Vanity. Prince got together two of his old girlfriends, Brenda and Susan, and, after rejecting the name The Hookers, they trio settled on Vanity 6 (the "6" being a reference to how many nipples were in the group). With a motto of "Leave it to the imagination", Vanity 6 had a string of very subtle hits, such as "Nasty Girl", "Wet Dream" and "He's So Dull" in the early 80's. Unfortunately, Vanity became addicted to cocaine and left Prince's inner circle right around the time that Purple Rain began to be filmed. Vanity had been the leading woman and was soon replaced by Patricia Kotero, or as she soon became known Apollonia.

Apollonia and Prince

Apollonia was an even worse singer than Vanity, but Prince wasted no time in throwing her in a group with Brenda and Susan, calling it (yes, you guessed it) Apollonia 6. (Thank God she didn't have three nipples...can you imagine the awkwardness of "Apollonia 7"?) Apollonia took over the Vanity's role in Purple Rain, earning herself the affectionate nickname "Apples" among fans (three guesses as to why, and it wasn't thanks to her red lips or round eyes) Apollonia 6 continued in the discreet path forged by Vanity 6, releasing classics such as "Sex Shooter". However, Prince's interest in Apollonia soon faded and they parted ways. She will, however, remain immortal thanks to her mention in the Kanye West song "Stronger"
"You know how long I've been on ya/Since Prince was on Apollonia"
Yes, her legacy survives. She continues to toil in movies that absolutely no one has heard of and recent pictures show a frightening turn towards plastic surgery. Vanity continued her downward spiral, becoming engaged to Nikki Sixx of Motley Crue, though has now recovered and is a minister.
The real question, though, what this fantastic history of 80's kitsch has boiled down to is a poll of your opinions...who is sexier, Vanity or Apollonia?



Sexiest Prince protegee?
Sheila E.
Sheena Easton
Carmen Electra
other free polls


Heather said...

Wow, this was seriously interesting!

The Clothes Horse said...

I don't know if I can choose who is sexier. Of course Prince became infactuated with someone who looked like himself (Vanity). Didn't he also "create" Carmen Electra?

the iron chic said...

Ha! Carmen Electra and Vanity were roomates.
And I'm gonna turn this upside down and vote for Sheena Easton.
"U Got The Look" is one of my fave Prince songs....

coco said...

Wow I never knew any of this
I love Prince so much!

Ana said...

hmm interesting. i like Prince's song "cinammon girl." When I was little I fell asleep to it for some reason.

Ana said...

oh btw take the quiz!!!

Kat said...

I can't say I'm a big Prince fan, but this was really interesting! Loving Vanity's super 80s makeup!

And thanks for the lovely comment! I have got to link you!!

Jill said...

Wow, didn't know the full history behind that one. Real creative with their group names, they are.

WAT said...

Way ta go on the Prince girls post! WAY COOL! He has good taste in women is what I'll say, and he makes them all sound so erotic when they sing.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for telling me about this. I agree 100% with Heather: seriously interesting. Maybe that's where my parents got my name (although, reading this, I kind of doubt it).

missbruno said...

he didn't name her vanity for no reason. what a freakin' interesting read! we learn something new everyday. ;D

The Farming Of Us said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Elle said...

Gotta be Vanity only because Nasty Girl is one of my favorite songs ever! Cool post hon keep up the delicious work

F.U. said...

Seriously, this was the best Vanity vs. Apollonia recap I've ever read! 6 nipples...who knew? All that to say, Vanity and Apollonia are the same person...but you know how one twin is just always hotter/just better? Well Vanity is definitely the hotter twin but Apollonia is just better. Cool site indeed.

LBIC said...

I voted for sheena easton just because she gave us the beauty that is Morning Train

Anonymous said...

Vanity all the way! Vanity a.k.a. Denise Matthews was making a name for herself in Canada before she met Prince, and got manipulated. But that's o.k., Vanity is still the best!