shawty, let me holla at you, you so hot, hot, hot, hot, you think i'd be hollerin, if you not, not, not, not?

This is an important and festive season - it's also the time of year where I single out my favourite and most despised singles from Top 40 radio. Past losers have been Rihanna's "Unfaithful" and Avril Lavigne's "Girlfriend". Past winners have been Ciara's "Promise" and Kanye's "Can't Tell Me Nothing"
Despite stiff competition from Lil Wayne and Britney Spears (If "If U Seek Amy" had been a single, it definitely would've taken this), I've gotta give it to Chris Brown and T-Pain's "Kiss Kiss". Though technically, I think I might be squeezing them in, as I'm pretty sure this was released in 2007. Still, since I don't really listen to Top 40 radio, this song only caught my attention this year, and I love it. Sure, some of the lyrics are weak ("Why is you hatin' at my anatomy?"???), but overall this song (and video) are insanely fun.


And the song that came closest to convincing me to never ever put faith in top 40 radio again was Rihanna's absolutely horrendous, not-even-fun-in-a-guilty-pleasure-way "Take a Bow". I've always had a problem with Rihanna, and this is it: she's boring. I can forgive that she can't sing (though I loathe her whiny attempts), and I can forgive that she doesn't write her own music, but I cannot forgive that she has no stage presence at all and no reason (beyond bland good looks) for a career in entertainment. Say what you want about an artist like Britney Spears, but at her peak, she could march onstage and everyone would look at her, watch her and be entertained and, oh yeah, she can dance like a motherfucker. While I've never liked Rihanna, I saw her as inoffensive, another pop-tart being marched out to warble songs crafted by other people. However, when she duetted with the legendary band the Time at the Grammy's a year or so back, my mild annoyance went to knee-jerk dislike. And I'm not a fan of how she's now being recognized as an "innovator" - oooh, she cut her hair, she's soo edgy...what's this? Leather?? YIKES! Rihanna is a good girl gone bad! And now she's a fashion icon? Please, I bet that girl doesn't even remember what it's like to choose her own outfit.
Okay, breathe in through the nose, out through the mouth....(you should've expected this, it's Ashcan Rantings after all).
I'll focus on the song. Generic balladry at its dithering worst, with non-rhyming lyrics (a pet peeve of mine) that just ooze bitterness. Lazy similes and a weak voice make this the most frustrating combination for a pop song: boring and bad. I don't even understand how this got radio play. And, God, did it ever get radio play! I'm just glad that I haven't had to hear it for a couple months now...though we as a society haven't fully extracted ourselves from Rihanna's devilishly dull clutches - one day, I pray.
I don't want this godawful song being heard on my blog, if you feel the need to subject yourself to that pain, you may do so here

How do you feel? Agree? Disagree? Rihanna fan in a defensive mood? Bring it.