who doesnt love irony?

Paula Abdul on American Idol judges singers, but I just heard her song "Straight Up" and she can't really sing.
She's such a weak singer so what gives her the right to tell singers if they're good or bad?
Very silly, very silly. Guess the show needed a celebrity and she was the only one they could get.
So Oscar nominations were released this morning and Prince got snubbed, sob sob and all that. I just assumed he was going to get nominated because he won the Golden Globe, but you win some, you lose some, I guess. I had just hoped he would be nominated so he would perform, but I guess I'll have to be satisfied with the Super Bowl.

Anyways to celebrate the snub, Prince is certainly getting a song (if not more in the future) in my Hall of Fame of awesome lyrics. Today's winner: The amazingly sexy and romantic "If I Was Ur Girlfriend" (And by 'girlfriend', he means 'best girl friend', just to clarify)


If I was your girlfriend
Would U remember 2 tell me all the things U forgot
When I was your man?
Hey, when I was your man
If I was your best friend
Would U let me take care of U and do all the things
That only a best friend can
Only best friends can
If I was your girlfriend
If I was your girlfriend
If I was your girlfriend
Would U let me dress U
I mean, help U pick out your clothes
Before we go out
Not that you're helpless
But sometimes, sometimes
Those are the things that bein' in love's about
If I was your one and only friend
Would U run 2 me if somebody hurt U
Even if that somebody was me?
Sometimes I trip on how happy we could be

Please

If I was your girlfriend

If I was your girlfriend

Would U let me wash your hair

Could I make U breakfast sometime

Or then, could we just hang out, I mean

Could we go 2 a movie and cry together

Cuz 2 me baby that would be so fine

If I was your girlfriend

Baby can I dress U

I mean, help U pick out your clothes

Before we go out

(If I was your girlfriend)

Listen girl, I ain't sayin you're helpless

But sometimes, sometimes

Those are the things that bein' in love's about (sugar)

Sugar do U know what I'm saying 2 U this evening? (sugar)

Maybe U think I'm beinga little self-centered (if I was your girlfriend)

But I, I said I want 2 be (sugar)

all of the things U are 2 me (sugar)

Surely, surely U can see (if I was your girlfriend)

Is it really necessary 4 me 2 go out of the roomjust because U wanna undress?

I mean, we don't have 2 make children 2 make love

And then, we don't have 2 make love 2 have an orgasm

Your body's what I'm all about

Can I see U?

I'll show U

Why not?

U can tell me because I'm your friend I'll do it 4 U

Of course I'll undress in front of U!

And when I'm naked, what shall I do?

How can I make U see that it's cool?

Can't U just trust me?

If I was your girlfriend U could

Oh, yeah, I think so

Listen, 4 U naked I would dance a ballet

Would that get U off?

Then tell me what will!

If I was your girlfriend, would U tell me?

Would U let me see U naked then?

Would U let me give U a bath?

Would U let me tickle U so hard U'd laugh and laugh

And would U, would U let me kiss U there

You know down there where it counts

I'll do it so good I swear I'll drink every ounce

And then I'll hold U tight and hold U long

And together we'll stare into silence

And we'll try 2 imagine what it looks like

Yeah, we'll try 2 imagine what, what silence looks likeYeah, we'll try 2 imagine what silence looks like

Yeah, we'll try...

Do some of the lyrics sound vaguely familiar? Because Beyonce, God damn her, jacked some of them for Jay-Z's "02 Bonnie and Clyde"
You know how I feel about her. Grrrr.