(sings) "Oh, I'm going to marry a gypsy boy, a gypsy boy, a gypsy boy/In fact, I'm going to marry this gypsy boy/He's so badass/He's like eleven and he's smoking cigarettes in a bear costume/Back off, because I'm going to marry this gypsy boy"
You weren't sure who you were going to vote for, were you, until you saw this picture of Johnny Depp, right?
He makes it hard to hate on pirates. You can pilfer and plummage me anyday, Cap'n Jack.
Or maybe the image of some pointy teeth in your neck gets your panties in a bunch. I admit, it is kind of a turn on. And, hey, that vampire is ripped. And flexible!
Kinda pale, but there's always self-tanner.