The nominees don't actually reflect the average teenager's tastes, at least I hope to Jesus Christ that it doesn't. Avril Lavigne always seems to end up with awards and I don't know anyone who would admit to liking her.
The newfound Ashcan Ratings Video Music Awards does not focus specifically on the current year. There are no limitations!
You probably won't agree...tough. But you will enjoy!
Sexiest Choreographed Dance Routine: the Arctic Monkeys "Brianstorm"
If I could dance, I would devote my time to learning this dance and performing it as much as possible. These girls look so much hotter than the bored video hos that you can tell are mentally adding up the money theyre making for this as the halfheartedly grind on some random rapper. You can tell that they can dance and their routine goes so well with the song.
Particular highlights are the first five seconds, 0:30, 1:09, the absolute cheekiest is at 1:12, 2:05, 2:18, 2:47, 2:51, and possibly the greatest facial expression ever performed (probably the wrong word) by Prince, at 2:59.
Does he practice in the mirror??? He must!
Best Spontaneous Male Dancing; Best Chalkboard Drawing: J. Geils Band "Centerfold"
Peter Wolf and his dancing skills are so sexy.
Best One Minute and Forty Five Seconds of Onstage Celebration of Extreme Funkiness: Parliament Funkadelic's Mothership Connection
For the full effect, watch the whole clip, but the first 1:45 are the crucial bit. Glenn Goin's gorgeous gospel scream cuts through the chaos (I could listen to the first ten seconds again and again for hours) and a life-sized spaceship lands onstage, bearing George Clinton, as Dr. Funkenstein. Justin Timberlake doesn't do that, now, does he?
To be continued...