Monday, August 13, 2007

ARVMAs

So the time of year is rolling around when MTV does their ridiculous and silly little Video Music Awards. If award shows were high school, the VMAs are like the attention whore, always bragging about the shocking things they're going to do, to the point where you don't notice that...hey, nothing big actually happened. Sucker!
The nominees don't actually reflect the average teenager's tastes, at least I hope to Jesus Christ that it doesn't. Avril Lavigne always seems to end up with awards and I don't know anyone who would admit to liking her.
Don't panic, I'm here to help!
The newfound Ashcan Ratings Video Music Awards does not focus specifically on the current year. There are no limitations!
You probably won't agree...tough. But you will enjoy!

Sexiest Choreographed Dance Routine: the Arctic Monkeys "Brianstorm"

If I could dance, I would devote my time to learning this dance and performing it as much as possible. These girls look so much hotter than the bored video hos that you can tell are mentally adding up the money theyre making for this as the halfheartedly grind on some random rapper. You can tell that they can dance and their routine goes so well with the song.
Bonus points for the maximal use of hair flailing!
Best Facial Expressions: Prince "Black Sweat"

Particular highlights are the first five seconds, 0:30, 1:09, the absolute cheekiest is at 1:12, 2:05, 2:18, 2:47, 2:51, and possibly the greatest facial expression ever performed (probably the wrong word) by Prince, at 2:59.
Does he practice in the mirror??? He must!

Best Spontaneous Male Dancing; Best Chalkboard Drawing: J. Geils Band "Centerfold"

Peter Wolf and his dancing skills are so sexy.

Best One Minute and Forty Five Seconds of Onstage Celebration of Extreme Funkiness: Parliament Funkadelic's Mothership Connection

For the full effect, watch the whole clip, but the first 1:45 are the crucial bit. Glenn Goin's gorgeous gospel scream cuts through the chaos (I could listen to the first ten seconds again and again for hours) and a life-sized spaceship lands onstage, bearing George Clinton, as Dr. Funkenstein. Justin Timberlake doesn't do that, now, does he?

To be continued...

29 comments:

CountryGirl_CityLife said...

ARVMAs, Yeah! I love your categories and nominees much better than mtv

coco said...

i havent been on your blog in ages!!!!!!
i dont get why
any way it is still as good as ever
prince makes great expressions, i also love the faces timbaland pulls
you may not like his music but watch his face
hes funny

jayne said...

haha, something really is rather hypnotic about that arctic monkeys vid

Anonymous said...

molly...you must check this out...www.myspace.com/belowfimusic...i think its that guy....j

Shelby said...

Centerfold = brillant example of 80's handclaps, y/y????

WAT said...

THE MTV VIDEO MUSAK AWARDS just aren't what they used to be. Hell, MTV itself ain't what it used to be. They actually used to show music videos believe it or not! LOLOLOL! Yes, way before your time. Just listen to old dated me talking this way.

Anyway, I'll try and watch the awards show nonetheless. Or did I miss it already?!

Bojana said...

That video (Arctic Monkeys) is eye candyyy

alexgirl said...

Awesome! I totally love your version of the VMAs. I think you should definitely practice dancing like the Arctic Monkeys dancers and wow your teachers on the first day of school.

Nicola's Vintage Boutique said...

Genni?

Pretty In Black said...

You need to have a TV show.

Emma said...

MOLLY! You make a long and extended and rambling cameo on my blog this post.
I love the ARVMAs.

The Stiletto Effect said...

hi Molly :)

good choices! love the Artic Monkeys :)

***
Su

Tru said...

haha yeah I like yours much better

Miss Zoe said...

MOLLY!! who cares about the videos- how was the freaking concert????!!!!!!

-S said...

oooh, cannot wait for the continuation!

Alison said...

I love the first video, I'm so bored of girls just slithering around in music videos, pretending to be "dancing".

adam said...

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maya said...

Such a good idea! I completely agree about the VMAs but I do think the Kanye West grabbing the mic thing at the VMAs is quite funny. But actually come to think of it I'm not even sure that that was at the VMAs.

jackie ♥ said...

i love your blog&the header. great job.

muchlove!

Pretty In Black said...

I have given you a Rockin' Girl Blogger badge because you rock.

maya said...

do you know what happened to touche19?

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Dilemma said...

Avril Lavigne always seems to end up with awards and I don't know anyone who would admit to liking her.

Ahem.
Just kidding, but she is one of my guilty pleasures.

The ARVMAS are much, much better than the real thing.

Emma said...

MARRIAGE. Fo'sho. Seriously. I think we should set up in a sexless marriage and you can have an affair with Prince on the side and I can have an affair with Clive Owen on the side and you, me, Clive and Prince can go out for waffles and it will be FABULOUS. We will live in an igloo in Canada with pimped-out leopard print carpets. Yes?

Emma said...

You know what my sexless marriage wives do?
They UPDATE.
I know I haven't updated either, though. I have been fiendishly busy planning the wedding.
Clive wants to wear nothing but a fig leaf over his manly bits. I told him it was okay.
I assume Prince will be wearing a raspberry beret? And nothing else? And maybe a "I HEART MOLLY" sign on his chest?

Fran├žoise said...

I LOVE ARCTIC MONKEYS....any way...lol I just want to tell you that I changed my blog and andress and that I add you to my links.

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Gina said...

wow this blog is soooo popular! honey ive moved location... http://words-like-endless-rain.blogspot.com/

i hope you get the beatles reference! any hoo be sure to to update any links you might have etc :D

MOLLY GRAY said...

wow! excelent post!
cya lady. love reading what u write.
sorry for the long absensce.
mg*

http://bohohipster.blogspot.com/