okay...nine, i guess

I figure, I give so much love to the sexy males, I don't recognize the gorgeous ladies out there. There is a reason for this: I'm straight. But, hey, I can appreciate beauty without being sexually attracted to it.

Lo and behold: the 10 Most Beautiful Women Of All Time (subject to change depending on my mood)

In alphabetical order:


Fiona Apple
She has the most unbelievable features: gorgeous eyes, such beautiful lips. She looks so ethereal and just naturally gorgeous

Alexa Chung
Yes, I know she's dating Alex Turner. You don't have to remind me, okay??

Ashley Olsen
Probably the more conventionally gorgeous twin. She was originally going to be the only twin on the list, but MK won me over with her Harper's Bazaar shoot...

Mary-Kate Olsen
Who would have ever made the connection between an Olsen and red hair? It's incredible!

Anita Pallenberg
Her eyes! If I was a lesbian in the 60's...

Chelsea Rodgers
Prince's new protegee. I wish I could find a better picture, because she's stunning.
Amerie Rogers
Gorgeous and incredible voice!
Sharon Tate
The most gorgeous smile in the world.
Cassandra Ventura
Better known as Cassie, I suppose. She looks fucking amazing in the "Stronger" video, but that's not surprising because she looks amazing everywhere.

yes, we get it. youve "gone green"

GASPSHOCKTWIST! What an ending! If you haven't seen it yet...try not to read past this sentence or I might accidentally give away the shocking turn of events at panel. Is this....could it be? Is there any chance that it is...a Top Model first???
I won't give it away because some of you might have missed it, or some of you might live in foreign countries where you're lagging sorely behind.

The photoshoot was Recycling themed. Okay, that was kind of lame. I'd always thought of fashion to be sort of like mass debauchery. Sex, drugs, rock and roll, no compost, throwing your paper in the garbage! How many times per episode do we have to be reminded that this is the environmentally-friendly cycle? It isn't even about the fashion anymore. Well, it never really was, but I'm pretty sure about 2.4% of each episode is devoted to anything that has to do with fashion. ANTM is losing blogger's-cred by the minute. And yet we always come back for more...
Because Tyra throws in celebrities to keep us coming! Tyson Beckford and Mary J. Blige in one episode? Damn, this cycle must be really shitty!
(I can't hate, Tyson Beckford, though a bit to muscle-y for me, is always looking good)

Saleisha is looking fierce. As usual. Yawwn.
She needs to mix it up and get all gawky sometimes. The fierce-thing is getting old.

Yay, Jenah! My new second! Uh, yeah, I just get distracted by how the picture is all about the recycling and not about the fashion.
Despite what Mr. Beckford says, I love this picture. But it might just be the bangs. I swear, sometimes I'll like someone, just because they have bangs. Chantal is my third.

salvador dali and ralph steadman

What is it about Alice in Wonderland that inspires such brilliant art?

Besides the drugs.

EDIT:

Also, this incredible Chris Appelhans painting of Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum. A bit different than the Disney version!

r.i.p. janet

Now I really don't know much about Asperger's, so please correct me if I'm wrong, but I know a boy who has Asperger's and I notice that he often tries to imitate other people in social situations. This episode reminded me of that. Suddenly, Heather has a bitchy side! I seem to recall her trying to stay out of the drama, and telling her mom that she just wants to get along with all the girls. What a shame she's fallen into the trap of badmouthing the other girls. I always respect that one girl in the house who is the "peacemaker".
I really liked the idea for a gargoyle theme, but it did not turn out like I thought it would.
I have a theory that when the girls audition for the show, they are asked what their fear is. And then the producers make sure that some girls have to face their biggest fear...hello, drama!

Saleisha looks gorgeous, and fierce, and nothing like a gargoyle.
Janet...sigh. I guess there's truth to my old theory that I jinx my second favorite. This is the second second I've lost, and we're only on the fifth episode! I guess my new second is Jenah, who is impressing me. And her hair reminds me of Mary-Kate!

jordan loukas

I love foreign Top Models. I watch America`s Next Top Model, Canada`s Next Top Model, Britain`s Next Top Model and, my personal favorite, Australia`s Next Top Model. How do I do this, you ask. With a little help from this brilliant lady: http://youtube.com/user/MsRoyalT. She posts all the videos from these (plus from Project Runway Canada) in easy to watch segments. I gotta say, she`s my personal hero.
My favorite Top Model contestant on any Top Model in the world in the history of Top Model is...

Jordan Loukas from Cycle 3 of Australia`s Next Top Model
She has a very interesting beauty and a cool personality.
I`m posting some of her pictures from the show, and then one from post-show. Watch her evolve! I just love this girl. She came in the third on the show.

like a butterfly goes through metamorphesis....

They really were lagging with the makeovers this year, weren't they? I mean, in the third episode instead of the second! Did they waste all their budget on biodiesel busses and couldn't afford to get Jessica Simpson's hairstylist to do one more girl. Chantal had the best makeover, I think, but then I'm just a sucker for bangs.
Saleisha...

Oh, Saleisha. I'm on the fence on this one. At first glance it's just...bad. But then the more I look, the more it reminds me of the kind of haircut a girl from a 70's disco band would have. And that's...well, okay,that's just bad too.
Janet, my new second, has an alright makeover. The colour seems weird, but she can pull it off. I really don't think it makes her look any more modelling, but I guess Tyra Knows Best. (Oh, God....a sitcom! That's her evil plan! That's where she's headed next!...oh, wait, phew, she did that already. Remember Jackie from Fresh Prince?)
Disco, disco duck....I wanna be a disco duck...Disco, disco duck...I wanna be a disco duck
That's all I can think looking at this picture.
WOW, she really captured hydrangea's slutty essence. That's my girl!

the audacity of hope

Right now I'm reading Barack Obama's book, The Audacity of Hope and I am in love with this man and his politics. Just the fact that he named his book The Audacity of Hope. Could you imagine The Audacity of Hope by George W. Bush? Obviously not.
If this man was President, I would wake up each morning feeling like the world was going somewhere great.

anticipation has a habit to set you up for disappointment

Ever since the Arctic Monkeys concert on Sunday, I've been very very obsessed. I feel completely in love with Alex Turner and Jamie Cook at the show, and now it's almost as if I have an addiction. Whenever I listen to their music (which is a lot but I'm trying to cut back) I get filled with this ecstatic joy, but as soon as I stop, it's a deep depression. I'm going through an Arctic Monkeys withdrawel now, listening to "No Diggity" by Blackstreet to try to not think about them. But every now and then, I go "well, just playing a couple songs won't hurt" and then I'm right back where I started.
Top 10 Reasons (out of 10000000000000) Why Alex Turner/Jamie Cook And I Could Never Be
1. They are way way out of my league
2. I have never met them.
3. Why date me when they can date skanks like Katie Downes (who I had to Google out of jealousy)?
4. They are geniuses and I am not.
5. They are so sexy I would not be able to carry on a conversation, I would simply jump them everytime I saw them.
6. They live in Britain and I live here. In Canada.
7. I have no idea how I would meet them.
8. What kind of guy is attracted to a girl who writes obsessive Internet posts about them? Creeeepy.
9. I have never met them.
10. Alex Turner was quoted as saying he had a crush on Beyonce. Clearly, a witty and sarcastic joke, but if it was true....the dream is over.

r.i.p. kimberly

I think this is the first cycle where I've had to say goodbye to one of my favorites so early in the season. Personally, I liked Kimberly's photo and did not think it was worthy of dismissal. Still, almost all the pictures were very good...this is a much better crop than last cycle. Remember that disastrous first photoshoot? Kimberly is a dead ringer for my favorite Top Model contestant ever, Australia's Next Top Model's Jordan, who I will be posting about soon.
I guess I'll have to pick a new second, and I choose Janet.
Saleisha is incredible.
Nuff said.

couldn't you see he was gorgeous? he was beyond belief!

The Two Loves of My Young Life

Wow, so last night I saw the Arctic Monkeys and I was beyond blown away. It was one of the best concerts I've ever been to (not better than Prince, of course, though it would be quite unfair to compare the two) and I fell in love.
Not with Alex Turner, but that was only because I was already in love with him, and his been since I first heard his lyrics. My friend Shannon (who got some super grainy but awesome photos which I will post later) and I were pretty close to the stage, on the right side, with a great view of Alex Turner and Jamie Cook. I'd seen pictures of Jamie Cook before and I was never impressed. But, I suppose he's not photogenic because his onstage presence and his very very tight pants won me over. Some people might consider this too personal to put on the Internet (and it probably is) but I have never been so turned on in my life. Seriously, guys, I'm in crisis mode. I think the Arctic Monkeys converted me to younger guys (younger as in, not 60-year-old, not younger than me)! How bizarre is this? It was a great show, they played all my favorites, including my number one favorite "Balaclava", which I finally figured out was about rape (fun!). I had an incredible time. It was my first concert where there was no assigned seating but there was no moshing, probably because last week someone died at a Smashing Pumpkins concert mosh pit at the very same venue. If you ever have the oppourtunity to see the Arctic Monkeys, do not turn it down. They are fantastic! I did not regret spending $45 on the ticket one bit, I would spend much more than that.
My biggest regret is that I didn't have the time to hang around the backstage door and offer my groupie services to the band.

EDIT: Here are some awesomely undistinguishable pictures!

Obviously we're having the time of our lives! You can tell by how psychotic we look! (I'm on the left)