Thursday, December 13, 2007

300th post

So, Jessica Alba's pregnant. You know what the teenaged boys are thinking? (No, seriously, who does?)
Well, the simple-minded, less intelligent ones are going "Shit....she's gonna get fat. But her boobs are gonna be huge...ahhhhhh, badness and goodness colliding!" and then their brains explode.
But the smart, and kind of creepy, ones are going, "Okay, it'll be due around June, I'm about 16, so, 2008 plus 18, I'll be 34 when that baby is 18, ihopeitsagirl, ihopeitsagirl!!!" Because, really, it allows them to play out the middle-aged men with teenager fantasy that frankly, many teenaged boys haven't even considered yet. So they're out fantasizing about Jessica Alba and getting with teenaged girls, but when they're 34, they'll have their eyes on the teenaged girls they're with now.
It's a tangled web we weave.
The other day I was reading an interview with Mick Jagger from about a year ago, and he was saying how he likes to keep up with newer music, listening to the Arctic Monkeys, etc. But then my brain exploded at the attempt of fitting Mick Jagger and the Arctic Monkeys into the same thought.

In other Arctic Monkeys-related news, I'm not longer jealous of Alexa Chung for dating Alex Turner (okay, maybe just a little...). I am, however, incredibly jealous of Alex Turner for dating Alexa Chung. I was watching her on her TV show on Youtube last night and she is my new idol. She's gorgeous, has incredible style and is incredibly witty. Even without the dating-Alex-Turner-ness, I'm fantastically jealous of her. Interviewing Hilary Duff, she goes "Oh, I'm sorry, did I just hit you in the face with meat? Was that a first?"
It's my 300th post, I get to make a wish, right?
Dear Baby Jesus,
Tomorrow, let me wake up as Alexa Chung.

kthx
ahhhhhhhhhhhmen

19 comments:

Heather said...

OOh, who's the daddy, Cash? (WHY DO I READ US WEEKLY?!?!)

Btw, I am a big fan of minds exploding!

Ana said...

haha...my friend told me her brother was like "damn too bad it wasnt me who knocked her up."

Sister Libby said...

I believe that I had a friend say (and I quote this)
"Jessica Alba is going to grow a sexy baby, but is going to get some nasty,fat-ass, trailer trash, Britney Spearsish stretch marks"
This is why I write and read blogs.
Because the people I hang out with make comments like the above.

Allure said...

Congrats on the 300th post. I adore Alexa Chung too, she's my new girl crush.

dancer*dust said...

omg thank you! it's dizzying when super talented people like you actually enjoy what i'm writing. why is everyone so nice?
and i don't fall gracefully at all. sadly.

congrats on the 300th post!

Carolina Lange said...

Very nice 300th post! Congrats!

maya said...

i completely and utterly agree with you about alexa.
i have loved her forever and i'm g;ad someone else shares my passion.

coco said...

I think Alexa is very pretty and dresses well but I hate watching her
I think she is a pretentious idiot
I was so shocked when Jessica Alba anounced she was pregnant, there weren'r even any rumours! I thought the days when celebritites could tell you something about them you didn't already know were long gone

A said...

oh dear. poor jessica, her and cash warren broke up two months ago and then got back together, and now they think they're ready to have a child? i should be a mkarriage counsellor. or not.
also, alexa chung isn't that great, she's pretty much annoying all the time on popworld apart from occasionally. and now she has no job because popworld like, went away. WHY?
anyway, I'm rambling.
DELIRIOUS TIREDNESS.

Bianca said...

Wow I didnt know that u were cool and crazy. Crazy in a good way lol... Dear baby Jesus lol. Just remeinded me of Talledega Nights.

Belle said...

congrats on the 300th post! Lmaoo first thing I thought when I heard Jessica Alba was pregnant was awww poor brennon (guy hoo is in love with jessica :P ).

Jen (MahaloFashion.Com) said...

I can't believe she's preggers, she doesn't seem the mom type hahhaha

Pretty In Black said...

That is a brain exploding concept. Mick....Monkeys....NOOOOOO!

Alexa said...

at first i was jealous too.... and then i got angry. there has to be some correlation between me and alexa chung right? i mean... it has to mean something that my name is alexa and i am stylish and i waaant to date alex turner and do what she does when i 'grow up.' haha

atelier said...

hihi, I couldn't believe it when I heard she was pregnant!

Tru said...

wow 300! that's impresieve and I actually didn't know she was pregant

WAT said...

As a gay dude, I'm hoping that child will be a boy. HAHA! Oh wait. By the time he's 18, I'll be an old...EEK! NEVERMIND! UGH! BE GONE PERVERTED EVIL THOUGHTS NOW!

Mick Jagger! Rock's greatest frontman ever! Well, there's David Lee Roth and Freddie Mercury too.

The Clothes Horse said...

She does have great style, her necklace there is rather incredible.

alexgirl said...

Congrats on 300 posts!
So... did you wake up as Alexa chung? If so, congratulations. If not, maybe next year?