Saturday, February 02, 2008

today's hit singles are tomorrow's really cheesy tabloid headlines

Hey, we all know the feeling. You're an aspiring pop star, or maybe you're the biggest act in the world, but the lyrics just aren't coming to you. So you dash something off, something insignificant. Jump to years later....you've been through a lot, maybe found yourself in a wee bit o' trouble, maybe with some tabloids and people are dragging up songs from the past. Well, my friend, you're not alone. Let's take a look at some stars and songs they might be regretting releasing.

Michael Jackson is probably the worst offender of this. He was first formally accused of child molestation in 1994, and prior to that released songs titled Smooth Criminal, Dangerous, Bad, In the Closet, PYT (Pretty Young Thing) and Give In To Me.Almost all of those are great songs, but I'm sure his publicist is going "What were you thinking??"And Michael's going "But, Ray, I didn't even write all of those, it was Bubbles, I tell you! Bubbles! Can we go to Toys'R'Us now?"And don't even think I'm making fun of Michael Jackson...I love the man to death.
P.S. Not to mention in the Thriller video, when he whimpers "I'm not like other guys"...


Britney Spears, in her, uh, saner days, released Crazy. Let's not even touch this one, she's way too overexposed.

Ciara, with rumours that she is a transvestite swirling, decided to release Like a Boy, in the video dressing up in drag and dancing in a masculine way. I'm not sure if she has an excellent sense of humour (unfortunately, my guess would be no) or was just very unaware.


Charles Manson's music career isn't what he's best known for, but it sure is telling. He wrote a song for the Beach Boys called Cease to Exist, which they wisely retitled Never Learn Not to Love before releasing (sidenote: if you listen to Never Learn Not to Love in the context that it was written by Charles Manson, it is extremely eerie). On his own album, he had Sick City, Don't Do Anything Illegal and, perhaps most accurately, People Say I'm No Good. Oh, really? No good, they say? For some reason, I'm finding it a little hard to have sympathy.
Or at least, not as much sympathy as for MJ, Britney and Ciara.
Next year headline prediction?
MILEY GETS THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS: DRUGS AND ILLICIT SEX

20 comments:

maya said...

This is hilarious. I love the way things this unfortuanate could only happen to the maddest celebrities.
I don't thik hayden christensen portrayed a particularly realistic bob dylan either but god he was adorable!

Molly ;) said...

I do love your blog m'dear.
And i agree that Jacky has to be the worst offender. With Brit a close second. Has she come out of phsyciatric care yet?
Molly xo.

Bianca said...

Britney Spears was definitely a clost crazy. Great post.

the iron chic said...

Britney holding that snake.....it was really the apex of her career.

Wendy said...

Oh wow, Britney shouldn't have been wearing that at the music awards. I wish with all my heart that she would go back to being America's sweetheart.

riz said...

Ha, i totally agree with the britney comment. But seriously, NOBODY could have kept up the kind of 'Before' image of American Dream perfection she embodied. Brit Brit's demise exposes the Dream for the ideology that it is...michael remains an uttter mystery to me...

Oh and thank you for the sweet comment on my blog! keep posting...

bronwyn said...

Hehehe:) Great post!

Bojana said...

Ooh, I love your new header!!

And, great post.

Cate said...

what? there were rumours goin round that ciara is a transvestite? crazy.
i could live without michael jackson though.

josefine said...

hah, i agree whit maya. it's so funny!
and WHAT? is ciara a transvestite?

WAT said...

Oh God help us! Michael Jackson was my childhood idol! I was 9 or 10 years old when he ruled the world! WHAT THA HELL HAPPENED?! I still can't comprehend it. I just can't. Such genius and talent in one individual. I guess it was just too much for him to handle. :(

Oh yes, Dennis Wilson of the Beach Boys was very good friends with Manson at one point. That's a bit eerie.

Belle said...

Oh Britney... Lmao, I really hope that that doesnt happen to Milley.
great header!

SICK. said...

hahha good miley headline.
that photo circulating the internet that she took of herself in her bikini with her little overexagerrated pout is so myspace.
:]

x.
jh

Kseniya said...

lol. nice post. britneys let herself go completely.x

F.U. said...

The MJ breakdown is right on point! Hilariously sad how those song titles revealed so much but who could notice such things when we were all hypnotized by the greatness that is...well MJ. Only the best to have ever done it could have had his monkey trick us all!

Stephanie said...

Oh no! Miley Cyrus :(

The Clothes Horse said...

I guess the old adage of life imitating art is true.

discothequechic said...

ahahaha!

Oh my how I laughed!..

"But, Ray, I didn't even write all of those, it was Bubbles, I tell you! Bubbles! Can we go to Toys'R'Us now?"

hannah said...

britney is just...ahh. i cant stand her. and i cant stand miley either. wonderful post.

peace

aschlee said...

Good post. Just think if they knew then what they know now ...they'd prbly have made some different choices (or maybe not, oye) lol... but some of the songs in light of the present circumstances are kinda funny.