give up the funk....seriously, snoop, leave it to the pros

Just need to take a quick break from the 7 Things that define me list, because, goddammit, I've got something on my mind.
Now, I personally am a fan of hip-hop - give me some Outkast, Busta Rhymes, Jockin Jay-Z, Mos Def, Talib Kweli and I will purr contentedly like a kitten on morphine. However, it is far too often that hip-hop abuses the precious gift called The Funk.
James Brown is the most sampled artist of all time, but Parliament-Funkadelic is a close second and some of the clumsy samples I hear make my ears hemorrhage.

The main offender:

Snoop Dogg.
Now, it is not to say I hate Snoop Dogg, because in fact I find him highly likable - I think his performance of Huggy Bear helps. But when I thought about hip-hop songs that figuratively raped that good ol funky thang, 4 out of the 5 that first popped into my mind were courtesy of the Dee Oh Double-Gee. The other was Ice Cube.

• "Flashlight" by Parliament vs. "Stoplight" by Snoop Dogg
  I am secure enough to admit that Snoop Dogg pimping whilst riding a Segway is badass on a whole nutha level, but he even jacks the opening "How else can you capture the world if you dont attack from the back...to the rear, march!" from P-Funk's "How else can you capture a boogie if you dont attack from the back...to the rear, march!" It must have been difficult to make one of P-Funk`s most joyous cuts sound so labouring - and it almost sounds like he got George and Bootsy to sing back-up? Could be wishful mishearing, though.
  I must admit, the fun video is making this song borderline enjoyable, but the bottom line is that it is just superfluous - why would you ever listen to "Stoplight" when you could be listening to "Flashlight"?
  
  

  
  
  stoplight/flashlight
  
• "Get Down On It" by Kool and the Gang vs. "We Just Wanna Party With You" by Snoop Dogg and Jermaine Dupri
  Now, Snoop isn't fully to blame on this one - it is technically Jermaine Dupri's (who I have to give mad credit for the Godfather II reference - Don Ciccio? Badass!) And
  it is, I must admit, a very enjoyable song (I've loved it since I got the Men In Black
  soundtrack at age 10) - until you hear the Kool & the Gang song that it (forgive my
  vulgarity on this one) rapes. The 70's original makes the 90's sample/cover sound weak, cheap and silly.
  
  

  
  
  get down/we just wanna
  
• "Give Up the Funk (Tear the Roof Off the Sucker)" by Parliament vs. "Undercova Funk (Give Up the Funk)" by Snoop Dogg
  I'll admit that this number - undoubtedly P-Funk's most well-known cut - is probably my least favourite of theirs. I'm not sure what exactly it's missing for me, but what it needs definitely isn't sparing substitution of the word "gangsta" for various lyrics, or some lazy rhyming. "Man, these suckas on the mic ain't sayin' nothin'" Snoop complains - well ain't that just George Clinton calling Bootsy Collins one badass motherfunker.
  
  

  
  
  give up the funk
  
• "Atomic Dog" by George Clinton vs. "What's My Name?" by Snoop Dogg
  There is really nothing to say here but Snoop doggy dooooooooogggg..uh, I mean, A-tom-ic dooooooggggg.
  
  

  
  
  doggystyle