i want to sleep in the city that never wakes up and revel in nostalgia

Back in January, I did a post that a lot of people (including me) seemed to get a bit of a kick out of. Basically, I have a feature in my sidebar called Feedjit, which tells me where people who visit my blog are from and how they got there. And, frankly, I've seen some weird Google searches lead to my blog. Even though I'm super-duper busy and whatnot, I've kept track of some of the more curious searches to share with you today.

"what does it means kiss your flower?"
(El Paso, Texas)
Well, for one thing, this person doesn't know the first order of business when encountered with a slang phrase you're unfamiliar with. Urban Dictionary could have solved your conundrum before you made it through the first page of Google's flower ads. Frankly, I Googled for myself and my blog wasn't on the first or second page (after that, I got bored and stopped) - which means they went through pages and pages to find an answer to their dire query.
Did ashcan rantings give them what they needed?
I'll spell it out for ya:
Get it? Good.

"Bojana panic nude pictures"
(Southport, England)
Okay...I've heard of people who get off on pain...I've heard of people who get off on being dominated...I've heard of people who get off on all kinds of weird things...but panic? Panic in itself? Hmm...these must be the type of people who get caught jerking off in the back aisle of Godzilla or something.
Did ashcan rantings give them what they needed?
No, I'm afraid not.

I was lying when I said "I'm afraid not."

"alex turner sexy face"
(Sydney)
Q: What's an Alex Turner sexy face?
A: All of them, of course!
Did ashcan rantings give them what they needed?
I'll give them what we all need.

Yeah, you're welcome.
"Sexy face"...last time "tight pants" - I'm filling all Alex Turner-super-ghetto-collage requests.

"sexy girls downy pics"
(Istanbul)
Granted, I've never been to Istanbul, but where I come from "sexy" and "downy" are pretty much mutually exclusive. Maybe they mean something different when they say "downy" but I'm really not going to Google it to find out. It's a sick world out there.
Did ashcan rantings give them what they needed?
Institutionalization? No.

"what happened to alex turner he looks weird"
(Mexico)
Please...give generously.
But in all seriousness, this comment made me realize I hadn't seen any recent pictures of Alex Turner, so I did a quick Google search (see, kids, I can do it too) and found a picture from this past February.
Let's just say I was so far from disappointed I'm not even going to bother looking up the antonym for "disappointed". You see, he's grown out his hair.
The single most crucial thing a guy can do to better his appearence...and better it he did.

Sexy before, but feast your eyes on THIS:
He's always been a handsome chap, but with hair like that...A+++
Did ashcan rantings give them what they needed?
I provided them with proof that they either are visually impaired or that they have what they kids today call "wack" taste.

"men forced into silk nightgowns"
(New Brunswick)
This person might be my new hero. I don't know what prompted them to search this, but the mere image makes me giddy.
Did ashcan rantings give them what they needed?
I wish.

"she may never freak again"
(Wisconsin)
On the flip side, this may be the most depressing phrase I've ever read. Never freak again? Never??
Imagining hearing this from a doctor nearly brings me to tears. Way to end this one a downer.
Did ashcan rantings give them what they needed?
I don't know...what does one need in this sort of situation? I can only hope I offered some sort of marginal amount of solace.

And there ya have it. As long as people keep Googling messed up shit, I shall be there.