There are some artists who are absolute geniuses, in the most retarded way possible. I think two of the best examples of this are T-Pain and R.Kelly. And so what do we get when they combine forces?
In the immortal words of T-Pain himself: "Greatness plus greatness equals great greatness."
Couldn't have said it any better myself.
Im A Flirt-RMX (ft. T.I. & T-Pain) - R. Kelly
What can one say about a song the calibar of "I'm A Flirt"?
To call it "brilliant" would be too easy, too cliche. To call it "the best possible song to sing while drunk" would be correct, but too obvious.
I will say that the first time I heard it, I wept. It was such a relief to finally find a song that expressed my deepest inner emotions, really spoke to me and described me so perfect. It was like R. Kelly had been reading into my figurative diary, the journal of my mind, and drew on that to compose this number.
"I swear to tell the truth and the whole truth...when it comes to ho's, I be pimpin' like I supposed to"
That line? Stolen word for word from something I said when trying to explain to a guy why I ditched him at a party for some other dude.*
"So, baby, don't bring your friends to meet me, unless your game is tight and you trust them, don't bring them around me because I'm a flirt"
If I'm actually serious about a guy (pfff, yeah right), I have to give him this warning before he introduces me to his pals. There have been instances in the past. Is his game ever tight? No. Did he trust his friends? Way more than he should've.
"Cuff your bitch, cuz hey: I'm black, handsome, I sing, plus I'm rich"?
I say that to every girl with an attractive boyfriend, and they usually cower in fear and insist on dragging their man out of the premises immediately. If they're smart.
"Now I'ma flirt whether I'm in or out of town, that's why they call me Teddy Bend Her Ass Down"
This is one of the few lines not directly stolen (though gender-reversed) from my life philosophy. I just had to give it a shout-out because it's incredibly cunning, if you got the reference.
I have to tell you, it's a relief to find a song that so thoroughly related to me, instead of simply the little "Play on, playette" at the beginning of "No Diggity". Sure, Mr. Kelly had to reverse the genders to make it applicable to himself (for example, when I pass by, they're all saying "She's so fly, and, yes, she's so coooool")
Anyway, I guess the truth is out. I'm currently not planning on suing, because the song is so goddamn good. Now I know how Roberta Flack feels - R. Kelly's been singin' my life with his words.
Girl, you know just who I am...don't hate!
*Pictures simply estimates of these two guys' appearences.