Tuesday, June 02, 2009

so kind of you to bless us with your effortless, we're grateful and so strangely comforted

Well, it's time for another exciting round of lookin' boy - oh, wait, no...it's just me making fun of the bizarre Google searches people made to end up on my blog, but the snark levels are still on high. Yo mama so slow she can't cook minute rice lookin' boy - zingggg. I've done it before - in January and in April, so I don't feel like re-explaining how this goes down. I'ma call "watch and learn" on this one.

"damn clip"
This is just plain intriguing. The location? Mysteriously, Europe. France? Estonia? Belgium? We'll never know. And what clip? A film clip? A paperclip? And why is it damned?
Did ashcan rantings give them what they needed?
They have left me with infinite questions and no answers.

"am i creater of the world i feel that im the only one like me i think im all that but wat am i"
You're a teenaged boy smoking pot for the first time.
And I thought they did it up fried, not baked, in Kentucky! Ohhh, snap, I got some lookin' boy in me, yet.
Did ashcan rantings give them what they needed?
The correct spelling of "what"? I can only hope so.

"males forced into silks"
(Strathpine, Australia)
Oh, beautifully reminiscent of "men forced into silk nightgowns"...now that it's happened twice, one must wonder - is this a "thing"? Or are there really just two individuals out there with a yearning to see the simple yet surely-hilarious image that is men being forced into silk? If the latter, well, I guess that's what the world means when it says "soulmates". If the former...somebody hook me up with whatever is inspiring people to Google such awesomeness.
Did ashcan rantings give them what they needed?
Sadly, no. But if either of these people see this, perhaps it will give them hope that there is somebody else out there for them. Or maybe just frustrate the fuck out of them that they're so far away.

"alex turner wants to have children"
(Kingston, UK)
Not sure if this is a declarative by a very well-placed source or somebody looking for a confirmation, but the main point is...why do you need to know? Are you thinking you might possibly be the owners of the ovaries that will aid in bearing said children? Because I'm sure that Alex Turner has placed high on his list of qualities he seeks in a baby mama "Googles my feelings on procreation".
Did ashcan rantings give them what they needed?
A swift scissor-kick to the ego? You betcha.

"pinky nail of the devil"
(West Virginia)
I will bet you $100 that this was a teenaged boy Googling to make sure nobody has already taken the band name Pinky Nail of the Devil because he wants to use it for his heavy metal garage band.
Did ashcan rantings give them what they needed?
No. I have no idea how this even linked them to my blog at all.

"when a we boy bits his lip wat dose it mean"
As something of a spelling/grammar Nazi, you know I had a field day with this. I can't decide if it's meant to be "When a boy bites his lip, what does it mean?" (technically: "What does it mean when a boy bites his lip?"), but the "we" throws me off. Surely they can't be asking "When a wee boy bites his lip, what does it mean?" In any case, I don't think Google has the answers you're looking for, hun.
Did ashcan rantings give them what they needed?
Because I'm such a giver, I attempted to look up the answer to this with the trusted (?!) help of cosmpolitain.com. I got so disgusted with the colour scheme and blandly attractive faces that I left and went to cracked.com after a couple minutes, so I didn't solve the lip-biting query, but I did learn that when a man tilts his head and shrugs his shoulders while looking at you it means he's deeply in love with you and you guyz are gonna be married 4 eva. So, bear that in mind, kids.

Sorry for the lack of pictures, I know I've been slacking, but the weather has been exceptional lately.


this wheel's on fire said...

damn i got to this fast! wow. anyway you know you always make me laugh "They have left me with infinite questions and no answers." classic :D

Mimi said...

These are all so wonderfully random!

I missed your blog, but I know how you feel we all have our procrastinating moments!


P. S. My sister went to one of my fave new 'antique malls' here in my town and she bought me perhaps the best early bday gift ever, Fleetwood Mac Rumours record!

jayne said...

haha love the tag on this, permit required!

Belle said...

Lol! I think my favourite was the last one. These are really funny.

Jill said...

I think the second one is having an existentialist (sp?) crisis! Why are all my word searches sex related?! I missed you Chica!!

Lexie said...

i love the kentucky one! he must have been high as a kite!

Eyeliah SS said...

you always get me laughing so much!!! :-) I think I'm going to try and add the feedjit.

Keith said...

I've missed seeing posts from you. Glad to see a new post from you. You always post such interesting things. I hope you are doing well. Cheers!

Annie said...

These are so funny.. I can't tell you how many misled perverts get to my site by searching for girls in spandex :\

boubou said...

hello first time i come across your blog so im gonna visit it now :) well if you wanna be inspired by one of my collage or just dream, come and visit my blog :)
a bientot !

I am a Tornado ~ proven fact! said...

Yep ... lack of posts this summer for sure.

Weather has been great here too and we have been out and about - doing and living instead of reading and writing about living.

Post is awesome. I don't get any GREAT google searches ...

the only ones notable

"cure for dizziness"
"no more yankee my wankee"
"broken brain syndrome"

I guess this could be blog post worthy stuff, if I had 1/2 the imagination you have ...

Again, great post!

GraceFace said...

There should be some sort of Google matchmaking service, to help you find your soulmate through your Google searches...

Eddie said...

OMG Molly. I swear I couldn't stop laughing at your responses on this post. I absolutely loooove these posts.

"When a wee boy bites his lips..."

That's classic. I couldn't even tell you what this person was thinking of. Masturbation? Midget fondling?

Loved it. I needed that laugh...

Besitos para mi amor...

Sister Libby said...

zinggggg! haha, yes! wonderful wonderful. "males forced into silks" is interesting, and i don't know what to make of it. your wit is unmatched!

Allison said...

Molly, I swear, your wit never ceases to make me laugh so hard. I absolutely love your commentary on all of these.
You are just fabulous, and these posts are always my favorites. I loved "the pinky nail of the devil." Just priceless :)
Enjoy the beautiful weather!

the iron chic said...

"forced into silks" What the?

Mimi said...

How've you been Molls?

Just checkin' on ya, also wanted to let you know I tagged you!


this wheel's on fire said...

where are you? i need some ashcan rantings :)

Anonymous said...

Your last one made me snort uber loudly in my office.

Shizzles, now my manager might find out I'm procrastinating on the job.

I just read one entry, and I'm already addicted to your blog. You are so cool and witty and awesome and awesome.... very awesome. Everything a girl should aspire to be.

You would be too perfect to be true if you are Canadian too..

(sorry if I come off as a creepy fan or anything)