some people like freakin' in the morning, some people like freakin' at night

Ahoy-hoy and a Happy New Year to you all. My much-needed New Year's Resolution? Blog more! Considering that in 2010 as a whole, I posted a grand total of not enough times, I guess I owe you another in a long string of apologies.

Truthfully, part of the reason for my lag in posting has been Dibbly Fresh. Since I started reading it, whenever I go to blog, all I think is "AHHH I WILL NEVER BE THAT CLEVER". But, really, you can't live your life worrying you don't compare to the greats. When I get dressed, I don't worry that I don't have Anita Pallenberg's wardrobe. When I open my monthly bank statement with quivering hands, I don't despair that I don't have Bill Gates' money. When I play piano, I don't concern myself with Beethoven spinning in his grave (which is partially because Beethoven never played what is now considered to be the piano. He died before it was finished. What he composed his music on an earlier, different version. If Beethoven heard me playing piano, he would probably be more interested by the instrument than whatever the hell I was doing. This is how I think, okay!)
Since it has been almost a year, it's really most important that I let you know

10 Songs I'm Into at the Moment:

1. "I Can't Wait" by Sleepy Brown featuring Outkast
It is very unlike myself to want an Andre 3000 verse to end, unless it is to let me squeeze in an "I do" at our wedding, but I just wish they'd put his verse at the end, because when I put this song on, I am so anxious to get to Sleepy's smooth "Oooh, baby, come on". Not that Andre "Chameleo Salamander" 3000's verse isn't amazing, because it is. The beauty of this song is the soul-funk in Sleepy Brown's amazing, Stevie Wonder-like voice.
Normally, I wouldn't advise willingly becoming a hostage to the man holding up your neighborhood pancake joint, but I can't judge the girl in this video. Andre had me at "You hoped to meet a gentleman one day, well this is that".



2. "I Can Change" by John Legend feat. Snoop Dogg
Look, I want to like Snoop Dogg. He seems like an amusing guy. He coaches a preteen football league! But he's really making it tough for me. Get off this beautiful soul jam, Snoop! "I can make your zoom-zoom go boom-boom?" Is that supposed to be romantic? Because it sounds like a car bomb threat to me.
All lame rap ad-libs aside, I wasn't super familiar with any of John Legend's work before, but I'm thinking I should start investigating. This song is amazing.



3. "Remember (Walkin' In the Sand)" by the Shangri-La's
I'm not crazy about early 60's girl groups, but this song has a dark, almost ominous quality to it that makes me giddy.
"Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no no no no no" is my favourite part.


4. "Make Ups 2 Break Ups" by Method Man feat. D'Angelo
One of the thing you, dear readers, have been deprived of since I stopped blogging an insane amount of time ago is my obsession with D'Angelo. The guy kills it on a regular basis, except for, oh, that pesky little arrest in 2010 for soliciting a blow job for $50. Crack kills, kids...brain cells and careers.
After exhausting the Voodoo album, I found this little gem. Sure, D'Angelo is restricted to one line, repeated, the one song and there is a crazy mixed-message vibe going (Method Man rages on and on about how much he hates his ex-girlfriend and how he'll never get back together with her, while D'Angelo croons "I'm still in love with you, babe"), but if you pair a great rapper and a soulful singer, I'm there. Listening, John Legend?


5. "Monster" by Kanye West feat. Jay-Z, Nicki Minaj, Bon Iver and Rick Ross
Epic douchebag, sure, but Kanye West is famous for a reason: He is brilliant at what he does. He hasn't released a single I've loved since "Can't Tell Me Nothin'", so I was pleasantly surprised by the latest (and the delightfully disturbing video). Kanye's verse is fantastic ("Goose and Malibu, I call it Mali-BOOYAH"; the sarcaphogus line always gets a giggle out of me), Jay-Z's is sold if unspectacular, but Nicki Minaj, from whom I've never heard previously anything particularly thrilling, hits it out of the ballpark and down the street ("Just killed another career, it's a mild day"). Rick Ross just mumbles something generic for two lines, so I don't even know why he bothered showing up.


6. "Def Squad Meets Flipmode Squad" by Def Squad (Jamal, Redman, Keith Murray) and Flipmode Squade (Busta Rhymes, Rampage The Last Boy Scount, Lord Have Mercy)
If I had to pick the most all-around lyrically killer, rollin'-in-yo-caddy hip-hop song, I'd probably go with this one. Off Busta Rhymes' first album, each rapper really brings their A-game - no filler.


7. "Closet Freak" by Cee-Lo
Yep, I'm also lovin' "Fuck You", but my favourite Cee-Lo is still this funky number off "Cee-Lo Green Is A Soul Machine". He's so versatile, from rapping to singing, from Dungeon Family to Gnarls Barkley. Does anybody else remember his daughter on My Super Sweet 16? Just me? Alright.


8. "Fear Da Tiger (Who Dey?)" by Bootsy Collins and the Cincinnati Bengals
Okay....for musical quality alone, this song doesn't quite pass muster with the rest of the list. However, I am a huge NFL fan (despite my residency, Canadian football is an oxymoron) and Cincinnati is my second favourite team (after the Carolina Panthers...and before any of you savvy NFL fans ask, yes, it's been a rough season), so when I learned they did a song with BOOTSY FREAKIN COLLINS, I knew no matter how much it would inevitably suck, I would love it.
And yes, the players rap.


9. "One More Drink" by Ludacris feat. T-Pain
This video is brilliant by Ludacris standards, so that really says something. Featuring T-Pain and Big Boi? When I get to the very heart of my T-Pain adoration, it is his dancing. So if Ludacris has ever made you smile, you will enjoy this video.


10. "Hayloft" by Mother Mother
Arctic Monkeys aside, I'm hardly a modern rock fan, but I've been really enjoying this track lately! I don't know how famous these guys are in North America, since they are pretty wellknown here, but semi-local. I'm diggin' the girls and the riff, and it's mixes things up a bit amongst all the hip-hop/R&B in my life right now.

he's a god, he's a man, he's a ghost, he's a guru

God, it's good to be back. I almost stumbled into an ill-timed bought of writer's block but luckily Lexie was to the resue, demanding "a list of your ten fave albums/singles/artists/however you want to post this from 2009".
Do-able!

I'm not sure if she means my favourite albums/singles/artists prominent in 2009, or just the songs I was most into in 2009. The is latter is way too hard so behold, in no particular order:

My Top 10 Favourite Albums/Singles/Artists of 2009


"Paparazzi" by Lady Gaga (video)
My ''relationship'', if you will, with Lady Gaga seems to be repetitive. I hear her new single and think "Eh, not quite on par with the last one". Then I see the video and enjoy it so ferociously that my obsessive YouTube viewings of it cause me to fall in love with the song. The best of her videos? "Paparazzi". It reminds me of a Jacqueline Susann novel (specifically Once Is Not Enough). Glamour on an extreme, histrionic level. The wheelchair and neckbrace were truly the icing on the cake.


"LoveSexMagic" by Ciara (song & video)
I don't know what it is, but I've always had a strong love for Ciara. Perhaps it's that her song "Promise" is one of the most beautiful Prince rip-offs I've ever heard, but I'm always interested in her new single. This one did not disappoint (as so, so many have). And, as much as I can't stand Justin Timberlake's cocky attitude, the video is killer too. I'm a sucker for a good afro.


"For Your Sorrow" by Big Boi feat. George Clinton and Too Short (song)
When I hear there's an OutKast song featuring George Clinton, you'd practically need industrial strength bungee cords and about three ounces of strategically placed SuperGlue (use your imagination) to hold me back. This one did not disappoint (besides its lack of Andre). From George's opening wheeze of "This is the dope on dope, smoke but don't choke on, its the shit. Plenty bloody junkies have been known to croak, but let's still toke up, it's the bomb" (I'm just guessing here...it is George, afterall) to Big Boi's "Stank you very much", this song is the sleazy Parliakastament Thang we've all come to know and love....from their one other collaboration.


This Is It by Michael Jackson (movie)
I'll say it flat-out ("with love", as MJ would say): the song blew. It is truly tragic that Michael Jackson's final single would be so mediocre. And that's the last I'm going to say of it, because out of extreme respect for Michael, I'm going to pretend it doesn't exist. The film, however, was fantastic. Tasteful, loving and revealing, it shows Michael how we should remember him: as a musician through and through. It is astounding and fascinating to watch him direct the musicians. He just knows music so well. For me, its still a toss-up between Michael and Prince as to the greatest performer of all time, but to anybody who enjoys pop music, this documentry will not disappoint.


"D.O.A." by Jay-Z (song)
2009 was also the year that I fell in love with Jay-Z and, despite my preference for his first album Reasonable Doubt, this cut proved he still got it.
"This ain't a number one record...this is practically assault with a deadly weapon"


"Red Right Hand" by the Arctic Monkeys (song)
I still haven't copped Humbug (though Christmas is tomorrow...) but I've been quite impressed with the Arctic Monkeys' new-ish sound. "Crying Lightning" was awesome too, but I think I slightly preferred this one.


"Honey" by Erykah Badu (song & video)
I know I've raved about this gorgeous soul song before, but you really must see the insidious and oh-so-clever video. You know 00:51 is my favourite moment. (If you didn't catch the reference, check it)

"3" by Britney Spears (song)
Ever since I got into Britney Spears a couple years ago (and that was a weird enough adjustment in itself), I've felt like the holiday season was truly her time. The past two Christmases my sister's present to me was her new album. Unfortunately, her "new" album this year is a greatest hits compilation, so I just went straight for the filthy single.
It's about threesomes, nuff said.


"Rockin' That Shit" by The-Dream (song)
I flat-out love this Prince rip-off. The explicit version is necessary, even though I adore the word "thang", because the clean version cuts out "bra". What fresh hell...?


"Drink in My Cup" by Electrik Red (video)
Electrik Red is to The-Dream what Vanity 6 were to Prince (on a much, much smaller scale of course), so you know I was intrigued. Most of their shit didn't blow me away, but I cannot get enough of the divine trashiness of this video. Why am I not getting into barfights and stealing chicken drumsticks from the kitchen? Oh yeah, cuz I'm not old enough to get into bars yet.
Still, that is no excuse. Bathroom stall dance sesh in T-minus, 5, 4, 3...

my heart went bang shang a lang

7 Things That Make Me Who I Am - Part Two

2. My bangs

Though I consider my hair, and my bangs in particular, to be physically my defining characteristic, my overall attitude towards is fairly blasé. My basic policy is that as long as I have blunt bangs, what's going on with the rest of my hair is unimportant.

Logically, I used to be extremely careful with my bangs, allowing them to only be trimmed by a trained professional. Eventually, I began to allow my mother, who has had bangs her whole life and is near-professional at trimming her own, to give it the odd go when I couldn't make it (read: was to lazy to venture) to my hairdresser's. Soon, in a fit of desperation, I began to trim my own bangs.

And lately?
A couple weeks ago I trimmed my bangs in my cousin's yard without a mirror.

Check out that Bob Masse Led Zeppelin poster though - gorgeous, hey? Nicola bought it for me for no reason...I have no idea what I did to deserve such a glorious friend. And for the record? Nicola's got some badass bangs as well.

...the kind you find in a secondhand store

The lovely Michelle from stray cat blues (check out her blog for inspiration from this classy lady with impeccable taste) sort of tagged me to list seven things that make me, me. She didn't explicitly tag me, but she tagged all her readers and gave me a special mention, which made me nearly-literally weep with joy and gratitude.
In any case, one of my great joys in life is talking about myself so I am thrilled to share with you, one at a time,

7 Things That Make Me Who I Am - Part One

1. I go shopping at least three times per week.
Thrift-store shopping of course! For myself and my online vintage store - people often ask how I manage to find the wondrous haberdashery that I do and the "secret" (if you could call it that) is simply effort. Well, okay, it's not as simple as all that - I've been to some towns where the thrifting is just miserable. To be a thrift store success as I am, you need the following combination:

• Good thrift stores
  Living in a more affluent area helps, but it really comes down to the variety of people who would be donating to these thrift stores. I personally live in a community that is both fairly wealthy and full of retiring hippies - a recipe for good thrifting if I ever heard one!
• Dedication
  Yeah, going thrifting a couple times a month will yield results - but if you go three, four, five times a week, you get to snag the exciting pieces before anyone else. Hell, I'm all for daily thrifting, but with my busy laying-in-bed schedule, it's just not always possible.
• Sense of self
  It's good to know specifics of what you're looking for - for example, I favour ethnic patterns, fur and beaded jewelry. When you're in a rush, it's easier to skim for what you like.

That's not to say I don't enjoy some good cheap mall jeans, because I overindulge in those $15 Body Central jeans that last surprisingly long. But my secondhand goods add a much-needed shot of soul into my wardrobe.
Let's play a little quiz game to discuss thrift store clothing further - here's a bunch of pictures of me. Which of these outfits do you think were bought at thrift stores and which were bought at the mall?

Answer: Trick question! They are all thrift store finds. All of them! Every last one - shoes, belts, hats, scarves, the clothes themselves...all but the umbrella, I scrounged up at thrift stores.
The most expensive item? The suede, fur-trimmed groupie coat, top row centre - $10.

Bow down.

i'll be a big noise with all the big boys, so much stuff i will own

I'm back! After a beautiful summer of, uh, obsessively watching Real Chance of Love 2: Back in the Saddle (because I don't get it here in Canada) I'm back home in BC and the below-80 degree weather makes up for not being able to ogle Real's shiny weaves on a nightly basis (thanks, VH1's obsessive/compulsive super-redundant programming mode!)But my Real infatuation is fodder for a whole new post on it's own (and I'm not joking, so prepare yo' self) - today, I shall be imparting on you some musical inspiration with

10 Songs I'm Into At the Moment

1. "Computer Games" by George Clinton
It was on George Clinton's first solo album, but in reality, it's pretty much a P-Funk track cuz the gang's essentially all here - Bootsy, Garry, Bernie, Junie, Maceo, Eddie... This whole album has a more electro feel, and it does feature George's most well-known song "Atomic Dog", but I can't get enough of this track, especially the lyrics, which are characteristically witty.
I can outdrum a beat...I can outdance a floor...I can holler for more

2. "Break Ya Neck" by Busta Rhymes
I have requested to my loved ones that if I somehow die by cervical fracture, this song be played while my casket is being carried in. Listen to it in that context - it heightens the experience.
And, like all Busta songs, the video is tres amusant.
And we get a little HIGH, and we get a little DRUNK, and we get a little CRUNK, c'mon!

3. "Friend or Foe" by Jay-Z
It's embarassing that I slept on Jay-Z for so long, but now I am obsessed with his Reasonable Doubt debut. This track combines the Godfather gangster-ness that I love with Jay-Z's undeniable wit.
You're twitching - don't. do. that/You're makin me nervous/My crew? Well, they do pack/ Them dudes is murderous/So, please, would ya put your hand back in sight? They don't like to see me nervous/You can understand that, right? Your draw, better be Picasso/You know, the best/Cuz if this is not so, ha, God bless

4. "Vitamin C" by CAN
Wikipedia calls it "krautrock", their website says they're "doch der Einfluß dieser Werke strahlt bis in die jüngste Gegenwart", but I just say they rock in the freakiest, most badass way.
A beautiful blows, I stay at the corner/She is living in and out of tune

5. "Big Love (acoustic version)" by Lindsey Buckingham
I know it's originally a Fleetwood Mac song, but I much prefer Lindsey's solo acoustic version. As I've stated infinite times, I prefer Peter Green's Fleetwood Mac, but Lindsey Buckingham is clearly insanely talented.
Oh, I'll build you a kingdom in that house on the hill

6. "Big Time" by Peter Gabriel
I doubt I'm really introducing this to anyone, but recently I've been craving this song incessantly. The video is unsurprisingly brilliant as well.
I've worked it out - I'll be stretching my mouth, to let those big words come right out

7. "Junker's Blues" by Champion Jack Dupree
I'll admit that I don't listen to as much blues as I should, but I love Champion Jack Dupree's voice and this song's badass lyrics attracted me pretty easily.
Some people crave for chicken, and some crave for a house steak, but when I get loaded, lawd, I don't want my milk and cake

8. "Death of an Electric Citizen" by the Edgar Broughton Band
Some more freak rock - if you're a Captain Beefheart fan, you might enjoy this heavy, bluesy band.

9. "Brick House" by the Commodores
Quite simply just a perfect song to git down to.
36-24-36 - ow, what a winning hand!

10. "Get Low" by Lil' Jon & the Eastside Boyz, feat. the Ying Yang Twins
Party hip-hop exactly how I like it: filthy. Whenever I start to feel a little bit guilty about liking this song, I remember that George Clinton loves it, and even covered part of it when I saw him in concert - and GC is never wrong.
Can I play with your pantyline? The club owner said I need to calm down

august 18

tell me something good, tell me that you like it

I had fully intended on blogging last week, but the very sudden and shocking death of one of my favourite musical artists left me simply too distraught. The irony of a day that I have dreaded for years (the day of Michael Jackson's death) coinciding with a day that I have excitedly anticipated for years (my 18th birthday) would have been comical had it not been so devastating. I don't really feel like doing a long tribute to MJ, as I can't imagine what I could possibly add to the many tributes done by casual fans.

Instead I will celebrate my birthday and graduation with an old Ashcan Rantings favourite - the songs that have been rockin' my world the hardest the past little while.

10 Songs I'm Into At the Moment

1. "If I'm In Luck, I Might Get Picked Up" by Betty Davis
Betty Davis is a bad mama-jama...I've fawned over her and her pure awesomeness before, but she continues to surprise me with her all-killer, no-filler albums. I got her self-titled debut for my birthday (thanks, Nicola!), completing my Betty Davis collection. This is the track I can't stop listening to.
"So all you lady haters, don't be cruel to me/Ah, don'tcha crush my velvet, don'tcha ruffle my feathers neither/I said I'm crazy, I'm wild/I said I'm nasty"

2. "Red Hot Mama" by Funkadelic
It's the spoken word introduction, first high-speed then screwed, that makes me turn this song on, but it's the heavy, badass guitar work (does Eddie Hazel ever let you down?) that keeps me from turning it off once the music drops.
"A luscious bitch she is, true/But it's not nice to fool Mother Nature/The proud Mother of God, like all ho's, is jealous of her own shadow"

3. "Worried Dream" by Peter Green's Fleetwood Mac
I'll emphasize once again that this is very different from Stevie Nicks' Fleetwood Mac - it's blues and this is a B.B. King cover. Anguished guitar and beautiful vocals, it's probably moved up to be one of my absolute favourite Fleetwood Mac songs. Listen to the version linked above rather than the one in the playlist - or, you know, both!

"It may sound silly to you, woman/Baby, but tell me my dream was not true"

4. "The Glamorous Life" by Sheila E.
It's no secret that I love Prince, and I love most of the music he's written for protegées, but this one in particular is a favourite. Sheila E stands out among his protegées as a strong woman who is actually talented (!) - she's a kickass drummer. Vocally, she's just mediocre, but, as with most pop music, it's all about the production.
"She said, I need a man's man, baby/Diamonds and furs/Love would only conquer my head"

5. "Respect My Conglomerate" by Busta Rhymes feat. Lil' Wayne and Jadakiss
I love Busta Rhymes, I love Lil' Wayne and I love any collaboration they make together.

"It's Bus Rhyyyymes, and I'm back/with the crack, and the thugs, and the drugs/ Nigga BLACK"

6. "If Tha Mood" by Esthero
Filthy and taunting and wicked - how could I do anything but love it?
"She won't fuck you like I do/She's not into that wild shit"

7. "Cherry Red" by Earthless
I know...I'm all over the place. But I love heavy, hard rock, and this band does not disappoint. You like Sabbath? Check 'em out.

8. "Give It to Me Right" by Melanie Fiona
You know, from the fact that it dares to sample the Zombie's immortal "Time of the Seasons", I assumed I was going to hate this song. I ended up really digging it, probably because I love this chick's voice. I think the sample was tastefully done and where I'm at right now, I'd rather be listening to this than the Zombies version! Blasphemy, yes, but I cannot tell a lie.
"I'm not, I'm not trying to run your life/That's why, that's why I'm nobody's wife/But when I want and when I want it, you gotta be ready"

9. "Tell Me Something Good" by Rufus
Not gonna lie - this song makes me think of That 70's Show, but really, that's not a bad thing. It's so purely joyful and, I must say, Kayla Hyne-esque. I can't get into most 70's funk bands because they all pale so profoundly when compared to P-Funk, but this song has definitely been sung by me on multiple occasions in the past month, often in public.
"Tell me something good!/Tell me that you like it, yeahh"

10. "My Dick" by Mickey Avalon feat. Dirt Nasty and Andre Legacy
"My dick...nuff said"

july 2/09

y'all don't wanna hear me, you just wanna dance

I really don't know whether this will be a shock to you or not, but I love pop music. Bring me your vapid, shallow, empty, AutoTune-soaked, emotionless masses and I will consume. Yeah, you're talking about somebody who actually got excited when Lil Wayne's "Lollipop" came on the radio yesterday - "Oh, man, haven't heard this one in ages!" - and then proceeded to get into an indepth discussion on whether the lyrics on the original (I have the CD) are actually "Shawty wanna fuck" or "Shawty wanna hump". (It is in fact "hump", and I just found myself thinking that the first verse is pretty romantic)
For awhile, I tried to deny my true feelings about pop music, but then I realized that if it makes me so happy, why fight it? Since I'm getting fully confessional on ya, I'll tell you that I have within the past hour danced to NSYNC. Will you still respect me in the morning?
Anyway, I'm going to lay on you my favourite pop songs of the 00's - and I'm talking the type of pop songs that you'd actually hear on the radio (probably fairly regularly), not just any song released by a pop artist. Sorry, Britney's "Why Should I Be Sad".

My Top 5 Favourite Pop Songs of the 00's:

5. "Kiss Kiss" by Chris Brown feat. T-Pain
I can never resist this one...from "Yo, this is Nappy Boy Radio live with your boy T-Pain, we love. Rap music." to "Five, four, three, zero, yeah", I'm hooked. Though, I'm obviously unimpressed by Chris Brown's recent, uh, douchebaggery, but I ain't gonna be hatin' at his anatomy - this is about the music, and most of the props must go to T-Pain. Any guy who throws a one-two "I got money on me" "Let's hit McDonald's" punch has got my interest. If he's actually got money on him, this McDonald's feast should be one of the record books indeed. Maybe he'd even spring for a milkshake...

4. "1 Thing" by Amerie
I love pretty much all things Amerie (who else would throw an Emerson, Lake and Palmer sample on a R&B joint? Nevermind that it turned out mediocre...it's the idea that counts!) but the ridiculously awesome drums are what make "1 Thing" so special. I also adore Amerie's voice - raspy-ish, but still pretty.

3. "Me & U" by Cassie

This is a tough one to explain. She can't sing. The lyrics are unspeakably stupid. The beat is generic. And yet, it's just so good. It's almost....hypnotizing in its mediocrity, but it makes me feel amazing.

2. "Promise" by Ciara

I have so much love for this song because it's so heavily Prince-influenced. The drum machine in particular makes it sound like one of those kinky little numbers he produces for his talentless protegées. Again, not a lot of vocal power here, but it's fully unnecessary - the stellar production speaks for itself.

1. "Hey Ya" by Outkast
So genius in that its both 100% a pop song and simultaneously not pop at all. Its far too unique and bizarre to be pop, but its too fun, happy and, well, pop-y to be anything but. If you haven't heard it since its assault on every kind of radio station ever faded out, give it another go - I can understand how hearing it 32353084390 per minute made you a bit tired of it, but now your brain has rested and you are ready to plunge into the magical world of Andre 3000 once more. The video is fully worth your time as well.

top 5 pop songs of the 00s
(Click on the link to hear the songs in their entirety)

you have a way of walkin' round, your feet they never touch the ground

Even if I don't talk about them as much as a lot of other bands, Jefferson Airplane has been a consistent presence in my life for years. After Bathing at Baxter's is one of my favourite albums of all time, and when this-wheel's-on-fire suggested a top 5 Jefferson Airplane list, I knew it was definitely a good call. Unlike most people, I actually prefer Paul Kantner's songs to Grace Slick's - I love his voice. But, really, they're all good.

1. "Watch Her Ride" from After Bathing at Baxter's

2. "Comin' Back to Me" from Surrealistic Pillow

3. "Two Heads" from After Bathing at Baxter's

4. "Young Girl Sunday Blues" from After Bathing at Baxter's

5. "She Has Funny Cars" from Surrealistic Pillow

I feel lazy not doing write-ups (wait...I don't just "feel", I am lazy), but there really isn't much to say. Jefferson Airplane rules, plain and simple.

JEFFERSON AIRPLANE
(Click on the link to hear the songs in their entirety)

P.S. The lovely Miss Eyeliah over at Style Symmetry is celebrating her 1000th post (congratulations!) with a give-away - so check that ish out!