general inspiration

"Why will you take by force what you may have quietly by love?" -Chief Powhatan


"Going to spring break at Ft. Lauderdale, getting drunk and flashing your breasts isn't an act of personal empowerment. It's you, so fashioned and programmed by the construct of a patriarchal society that you no longer know what's best for yourself. A damsel too dumb to know she is even in distress." -Chuck Palahniuk

"I cannot agree with those who rank modesty among their virtues. To the logician, all things should be seen exactly as they are, and to underestimate one’s self is as much a departure from truth as to exaggerate one’s own powers." -Sherlock Holmes

"Sometimes we get so caught up in language, and this word and that word, that we lose sight of the bigger problems in the world. At one time, the word 'Bitch' simply meant female dog. Now, it has a negative meaning. Many negative words in one time and/or culture are meaningless in another. We’ve got to stop wasting time fighting over nonsense. I’m still waiting for aliens to come... " -George Clinton

[hey, thanks, corbis]

hey, hey, stranger...i hear that they call you the lone ranger

5 Things found in my bag: Dental floss, library card, Funkencyclo-p-dia, list of records I want to buy, pictures of Mick Jagger

5 Favorite Things in my room: My record collection, my posters, my clothes, my teddy bear, my magazines
5 Things I've always wanted to do: Road trip through Oregon, California, Nevada and New Mexico with my friends, have pet peacocks, be really, really good at something, have sex with a rock star, be someone's favourite person in the universe
5 Things I'm currently into: Sherlock Holmes, Cynthia Plaster Caster, biking, astrology, enjoying every little second of life
5 Impressions on The Clothes Horse (who tagged me): For some unknown reason, she's isn't on my links list...say whaaa? I've fixed that; she has remarkably creative and distinctive style; she seems to have an unlimited supply of quirky (read: awesome) accessories; I don't know if she takes the photographs on her blog, but they're usually rad; she's obviously intelligent and eloquent.

Usually I rebel against the whole "tagging" thing with a slack "If you wanna be tagged, consider yourself tagged", but this time I'm actually going to choose people. I'm not saying these are my favourite blogs (BUT MAYBE THEY ARE!! WHO KNOWS?), just these are people I've been enjoying lately: sister libby, LBIC (I think her name is Christina?), wat, Alex Richards, Sunniva and one bonus one, coco.

i can tell you things to get you excited, things you never heard

The other night, as I was juggling oranges while watching Sherlock Holmes, I came to a realization. An epiphany, if you will.

A rough image of what I'd been doing. Note the lines between oranges indicating motion.*

I thought to myself, what am I doing?? How could four so very separate commodities - me, oranges, Sherlock Holmes and juggling - have collided into such a satisfying moment? It was there are then that I drew the conclusion that life's best moments are just that: a collision of little joys.
(I really ought to climb to the top of a mountain, grow a beard and charge people kumquats for advice.)
Sometimes, however, life, or should I say universe is overly generous and allows collisions of extreme greatness. Its the equivelant of the really expensive Christmas gift from an aunt you never see, that leaves you wondering what you did to deserve such magnificance.
I'll share some examples from my life.

Tim Burton's 1988 version of Batman really seems like the movie made for me. It stars my favourite actor, Jack Nicholson, with a soundtrack by my favourite artist, Prince. Before I saw it, I was a bit concerned because I hate action movies, plus I was worried it would be too much a good thing. Let me tell you something. "Too much of a good thing" doesn't exist. It's a fascist plot by the government to make people less greedy, so they can easily be more greedy. A good thing is infinity, which is why Batman is one of my favourite movies ever.

Continuing with the Jack Nicholson theme, I was really stoked about Chinatown, directed by my favourite director, Roman Polanski, starring Jack Nicholson. I didn't bother to worry about it being too much of a good thing, and it's a good thing I didn't because the movie was a very good thing.
Another good example is the fantastic duet "We Can Funk" by Prince and P-Funk leader George Clinton. I was into this song before I discovered Parliament-Funkadelic, but I certainly have a whole new appreciation for it now that I know who exactly the deep-voiced character singing "I'm testin' positive for the funk/I'll gladly pee in anybody's cup" is.
And then there's "Dancing in the Streets". Okay, so the song itself is no "Gimme Shelter" or "Moonage Daydream". What makes this Bowie/Jagger duet so magical is the rumours of a secret, forbidden (no! not forbidden! loved and accepted by all!) love affair between the two known bisexuals. I'm not the type to spell "hot" with an "aw" but if I did, I be typing "hawwwt" right now. Oh shit...

And then sometimes there's just pictures. You know, just a snapshot of an unexpected match of celebrities that just makes your day.

There's Pattie Boyd with the Rolling Stones.

Why did nobody tell me Jason Schwartzman and Zooey Deschanel dated?? I had to celebrate their coupling and mourn their breakup in the same thought! It was an emotional roller coaster...When the Olsens met Winehouse...I'd be very surprised if no cocaine was exchanged.
When Cory Kennedy met Lindsay Lohan...I'd be very surprised if no tales of herbal STD-treatments were exchanged.My precious, precious Arthur Lee with Jimi Hendrix. (Photo credit: Jeffrey Eisen)

There! Proof! Greatness + greatness = superterrifichappy greatness! And don't get me started on when evil joins forces (cough4minutestosavetheworldcough)

*May be slightly embellished. I can't juggle. It was just two oranges.

life is infinitely stranger than anything which the mind of man could invent

I've talked about this on my blog a few times before, but I really must bring it up once again. I have a weirdly passionate love for Sherlock Holmes. I like the books, but most of all I love the TV show from the 80's and 90's starring Jeremy Brett. To me, he is the absolute perfect Sherlock Holmes.
He looks, talks and behaves exactly like I imagined Sherlock Holmes would (and I know he's not real, but he is in my mind).

So imagine how excited I was when I was perusing the local library and found this biography of Jeremy Brett, called The Man Who Became Sherlock Holmes: The Tortured Mind of Jeremy Brett. It seems that Mr. Jeremy Brett's life was just as interesting, if not more so, than the fictional Holmes!

You might recognize him as Freddy from My Fair Lady, a really dull movie I totally hated and probably would've enjoyed more if I'd realized Sherlock was in it.
As a young child, he was sexually abused. He later struggled with his sexuality, as well as manic depression/bipolar disorder. He became so obsessed with the Sherlock Holmes role that it eventually took over his life. This is an actor very seriously devoted to his craft and it shows. When I watch the TV show, I feel like I'm watching a reality show following around the real Holmes. Jeremy Brett makes him so realistic. Sherlock Holmes was also a very complex character, who struggled with a drug addiction and lost love.
Anyway, Sherlock Holmes and Jeremy Brett are both absolutely fascinating people who I could rant about all day, but I'll leave it at this.

seven (again...so more like fourteen)

Wow! When I made my William Shakespeare blog as an assignment for English (some of you possibly stumbled across that and were confused), my teacher actually ended up finding this blog and was impressed with it. So thanks to this little blogging addiction, which has admittedly been eating up some time that should be spent English-ing, I have one less essay to write! That was quite kind of my teacher, seeing as how I have not found my recent entries to up be up to par with my older "works".

I did this back in January, but there are zillions of surprising and fascinating things about me, so it shouldn't be too difficult thinking of seven more. Thanks to those who tagged me!

1. I am trying to talk more like a pirate

How does one go about this? (Well, for one thing, they don't saying things like "how does one...") Well, it's crucial to be replacing "my" with "me", as in "Mick Jagger is me future boyfriend." You also tell obvious lies, as in "Mick Jagger is me future boyfriend." 'Scurvy' is a great adjective, as in "You scurvy wino, Mick Jagger is me future boyfriend."
Oh, and mention rum a lot.

2. Sigh
Number two was going to be "I plan on seducing Roman Polanski this summer" because I'm reading his autobiography and I think he's so great. He also had a little incident with a 13-year-old year girl so he clearly has no qualms about having sex with teenagers, and he lives in Paris, where I'm going to be this summer. But then researching him for a picture, I find out he's been
married for 18 years! This is a good oppourtunity to quote Dorothy Parker (though, really, when isn't?):
WHAT FRESH HELL IS THIS?

Thanks, Roman, for ruining my summer plans by being MARRIED and all. Obviously you don't care about young teenaged girls anymore, especially ones that want to fuck you!

3. I'm going to see Prince this summer.

Just in case you forgot.

4. I love Sherlock Holmes

The books, the movies, the TV show. Did you know he was a cocaine addict? It was much more common back then, though. My favorite thing is when Watson says something really obvious and Holmes roars "I'M WELL AWARE!"
Call me boy-crazy (or, I guess, old man crazy) but he's pretty sexy is his own snooty way.

5. It's my birthday on Monday!

I shall be sixteen, and definitely planning a Super Sweet Sixteen party. It will have juggling dwarfs, and emus with their fur dyed purple, and free naked pix of everyone, and I will be hiring Mick Jagger to be my boyfriend for the night.
The whole night.

6. I'm getting bangs on Friday...
and I'm scared to death. If it gets messed up my life is ruined.
I need to have great hair.

7. If I could pick my date of birth it would be June 25th, 1947
That would be perfect. My birthday's already June 25th and it's great because I'm always within 6 months of my birthday or Christmas. 1947..so I can experience the sixties proper!

...and the mysterious disappearence of lady frances carfax

I love Sherlock Holmes! The books, the movies, the TV show. "Sherlock Holmes and the Myserious Disappearence of Lady Frances Carfax" was on last night. It was pretty cool. They didn't really save her...spoiler alert...she was in the coffin UNDER the dead body about to be buried, simply passed out. The evil people were gonna bury her alive! The choloroform fucked up her brain and she was mental for the rest of her pathetic existance.
But back to Sherlock.
FUN FACT: Did you know that Sherlock Holmes was a cocaine addict?

I love pretty much everything about him: how he looks more evil than most of the villains, how he nevers sleeps (it's the cocaine, y'all), how he roars "I'M WELL AWARE" whenever Watson or some other mortal makes an obvious observation.
I highly recommend watching Sherlock Holmes sometime. Highly educational and entertaining...everyone wins!
Well, except the criminals. Cuz Sherlock Holmes never fails.



Please note: In regards to my last post, when I said "Morris Brown" was my least favorite of the three they released, that has changed. It is now my favorite!