oh, i says the damndest things last night when i was running game...

Wow....Jesus....there are no words, really.

I haven't posted in 2 and a half months, and part of the reason I've been putting it off so much is because I feel like my return must be EPIC, a post that will be linked and gossiped about, a post that, perhaps, might even warrant a Youtube tribute video to the tune of "Walkin' On Sunshine". Unfortunately, said post never quite popped into my head fully formed so please bear with me while I try to get back into the schwang of thangs.

Excuses for my behaviour? (Or lack thereof, really) Well, I can dish em all out - new job, new boyfriend, new Betty Davis album - but it all comes down to who cares? I still mourn the devastating abandonment by Emma of her brilliant blog (2 years and counting, R.I.P. bbgurl), but all I can do is throw on the explicit version of "Sexy Can I" and wait for slow, gentle death.

Where to even begin?? I almost just threw myself off on a For the Love of Ray J tangent (glorious! Flavour of Love with an actually-attractive host!), but I have resisted.

I guess I should come bearing apology gifts. Aaaaaaand, those come in the form of amusing YouTube videos! (What else?)

George Clinton - "Do Fries Go With That Shake?!"
Leave it to George Clinton. This sleazy track (featuring Vanessa Williams) and its dynamite video will sho nuff put a smile on your face. Judging by George's face at 00:52, ladies in mismatched layers make his brain cease activity, and, judging by his pick-up lines, particularly in the linguistic department.
But does it make me question using him as my "historical figure who inspires you the most" during job interviews? Not for a second.
Oh, Georgie, one day we will frolic in a giant chocolate milkshake together, our souls funking as One.

And, for a cheap laugh, the Bill Cosby Pokemon Rap. How can you do anything but chuckle?

I'm still pimping out my online vintage store Safe as Milk Vintage, so...

...if those miniscule little pictures of items I have in store now whetted your appetite, I will provide the link once again (SAFE AS MILK VINTAGE) for those of you too lazy to scroll up to find it (and don't think I'm judging - I know your pain!)

Also, if you dig my store, or just feel like giving me a little support, join my Facebook fan page. And add me up! I go by Molly Jagger (not only a reference to the divine Mick, but also the wicked Jimi song "Dolly Dagger"). Just let me know you know me through blogging!

Well, let me get this posted before something drastic happens to delay my return further!

I am home, home to you.

Love me.

pretty party clothes crocheted of snow

So whilst perusing (and I'm using the original definition here) my own blog the other day, I noticed that it has been literally months since I harassed you guys with a shameless plug of my online vintage store SAFE AS MILK VINTAGE.
Well, even if I've been slacking "h-core", as kids (some kids at least) say these days, on my blog, I've been hard "at work" with my store - thrifting, altering, photographing, shipping...
I do offer a 10% discount to readers of my blog, so if you see anything you're interested in, just let me know and I'll work something out.

Here are some of the items I've recently added:
Vintage Red Velvet Slouchy Hat
This one totally reminds me of something Marianne Faithfull would wear. Gorgeous rich hippie look.

Price: $20

ashcan reader price: $1870's Psychedelic Hippie Mini Dress
Price: $30
ashcan reader price: $27
70's Belted Floral Midlength Dress
Price: $20
ashcan reader price: $18

70's Ethnic Button-Up Bohemian Maxi Dress
Price: $30
ashcan reader price: $27

80's Abstract-Print Poncho Dress
Price: $30
ashcan reader price: $2770's Ethnic Hippie Dress
Price: $30
ashcan reader price: $27
80's Laurence Kazar Blue Sequined Party Dress
I just adore this dress - the colour, the length, the sequins. If I had more formal events that I went to, I'd definitely keep it for myself, but since I don't really have the chance to dress up often (besides to dance around my own room) and, won't lie, I need money, I figure I'd pass on the love.
Price: $50
ashcan reader price: $45
Men's 70's Embroidered Button-Up Shirt
This is the greatest shirt I've ever seen and the only reason I'm sad that I don't have a boyfriend is because I have nobody to force into this shirt - so force your stylish man into it, and enjoy the rare sensation that is me being jealous of you.
Price: $30
ashcan reader price: $27

This is just a taste; I have many new and exciting listings here and don't be shy about getting in touch with questions or comments!

everybody knows from the coy little wink, the girl's got a lot on her mind

I'm pretty sure there are no words in the human dictionary that describe how much I suck for not blogging or commenting in ages, but I think if there were, they would sound less like actual words and more like a large bird squawing in pain while being trampled by wildabeests. My bad!

I guess the only thing I can say to excuse my absence is that the weather has been gorgeous, I'm graduating from high school this week and it's my birthday on Thursday! So I have no tragic excuse, just happy ones! I have been busying myself with my online vintage store, and last weekend I photographed a whole bunch of new items in this gorgeous little graveyard. I hate for my first post in almost a month to be a long plug for my vintage store, but this is truly something I find interesting, exciting and feel passionate about - and I think you'll probably enjoy it as well!

70's Bright Psychedelic Hawaiian Print Maxi Dress
I really wanted this to be my grad dress, but it was a bit too small for me. It's so bright and so fun, I'm going to be infinitely jealous of whoever ends up with it.

Blue Embroidered Mexican Eyelet Dress
Absolutely gorgeous colour - with beautiful embroidered butterflies.

70's Brown Psychedelic Mini
Sure, it's simple, but it has a very flattering fit and is a good length.
Leopard-Print Fleur-de-Lis Rich Hippie Caftan
Unfortunately, the colours didn't turn out very well in the pictures, but it's a very rich looking piece, incredibly classy. Floral Hippie Off-Shoulder Peasant Mini Dress
If I wasn't cursed with very short legs, I would definitely be rockin' this allll summer long. It needs a long-legged woman to wear it to its full potential.Psychedelic Animal-Print Mazatlan Minidress
This dress is so mind-blowingly cool - animal print, a jungle scene, psychedelic birds of paradise...the word "Mazatlan"...yeah, you can't resist this, don't even try!
70's Floral Accordion Pleat Hippie Caftan
Accordian pleat! Yes, that is the sound of all your quirky pleat dreams coming true.

Purple Floral Wrap Skirt/Dress
Another one that I was tempted to keep for myself, but I have a skirt/dress almost the exact same colour so I figured I'd pass on the love.
70's Red Psychedelic Hippie Maxi Dress
Rich colours, bold psychedelic/paisley pattern....go head now, you hippie you.
70's Smoking Lady High-Waisted Maxi Skirt
I'm usually not a fan of full-length skirts, but how could I possibly resist this print? A smoking lady....genius.
70's Sleeveless Rainbow Striped Long Dress
This dress totally elongates the body - as vertical stripes are known to do - and is pretty flattering. It gives shorter girls like myself some semblances of height, and it makes taller girls look like freaking supermodels. Love the colours too.
70's Striped Zip-up Maxi Dress
Because this is made of terrycloth, it is the most perfect swimsuit cover up - like wearing a beautiful, comfortable, stylish towel! The pleats and V-neck keep it very flattering.

I will try, try, try to post more often, but it is now summer, so no promises!

they seek her here, they seek her there, her clothes are loud but never square

First of all, I did a guest post for the lovely Sarah Von over at Yes and Yes, so if you have some time to kill, you might like to go check that out.
Also, as I mentioned in my last post, I went to Mission (BC - unfortunately not San Francisco) this past weekend to take pictures for my online vintage store. They turned out very well and in fact I sold four items yesterday alone! Here are some of my other newly listed items that I'm stoked on:
This gold lamé poncho dress is really something else, I must say. It's impossible to wear it without feeling incredibly glamorous. Also, isn't that setting just breathtaking? It's at a monk monestary in Mission.
I am so thoroughly in love with this shirt. Between you and me (uh, all hundreds of you), I priced this shirt so high just because I don't really want it to sell very fast - I'm too attached to it.
This prairie dress has a stunning fit. And soo delightfully 70's!
This ethnic embroidered vest is so awesome - yep, those are flamingos!
Again, this long floral dress is so wonderfully 70's, its very comfortable and the necklace is quite flattering!
Now that it's spring you can wear fantastic florals like this 70's caftan, and I pretty much guarantee it will make you feel free and joyful.
I've worn this space-dyed sweater out a few times and I just love it. I seriously considered keeping it for myself, but what can I say? I'm a giver at heart.
This bird of paradise caftan is very similar to a rich blue one that the lovely Miss Jill bought last month. Unfortunately, these pictures didn't turn out as well as they could've (as it is really a striking piece) because it started hailing while we were photographing it. Ah, well.
What, you don't have a llama sweater?? You're missing out, my friend. Their little llama, uh, figures can brighten up a whole room.
I really like this quirky sweater. A nice, relaxed piece that's still unusual.

And I still have 18 other pieces, so if you have any interest in vintage fashion, check out my online store, Safe as Milk Vintage.

i am not of your world. hold still, baby, i wont do you no harm - i think i'll be good to you

My third tag post in a row, but I've been seeing this one around and secretly hoping someone would tag me for it. Diana to the rescue!

The rules:
With as much creativity as you can muster, show your heart in:
1 picture
1 poem
1 song or piece of music
1 phrase or quote
1 item of clothing
1 place
1 Disney princess

Picture: It took me a long time to figure this one out - and that's true for most of the parts of this fantastically deep tag - but I finally settled on this picture of Funkadelic. It's quirky, interesting, not really funny but not really serious, colourful, retro, there's a Native American headdress and pinstriped pants, and I'm now fiending to relax on that hill. Also, there's some guy climbing a tree.

Poem:
Because I'm not personally that into poetry, I'd rather use the lyrics to a George Clinton & the P-Funk Allstars song called "Because/The Last Time Zone"
The lyrics really are more like spoken word than an actual song, and I've always found this song to be so intensely beautiful. Because the song is pretty obscure, I haven't been able to find a copy of the lyrics on the Internet. Here they are, as best as I can figure them out:

the moon is quiet
and here i exist in the next phase of the final unrest
no one ever filled me in with a clue
but my mind has worked its way
at sunrise
as i awaken
into a deep dream
im free

i can see the break of day coming through my window
feel your body next to mine sends my soul away

now what was next?
was i to lay up and die? or just stalemate
in the next time zone
i slip into some cd screen player with no vision

i thought daybreak was my high
until the day i met you in the crack of dawn

is a brighter day just some old holographic insert?
i see it now that you're not really there

i have always imagined my love for you to be the displacement of my wandering mind

i stroll around in your head
lots of shit that can't be said stopping me
it's just the last time zone

mother terror, you are the world to me
and in time to come, you will discover my love for you

i thought the daybreak, i thought the daybreak
was my high

you are the only place i can put my feet
without you as a base, where can i stand?
somewhere in the last time zone, flash is the motivation
and in the midst of this awakening, i loosen the pus from my eyes to see another day
i thank god for youbut i also apologize on behalf of me and my kind
for disappointing maintenance and painful care of your beauty
for so long, i have yearned to die and again resurrect my head on your breast
my rebirth
mother earth

welcome to the last time zone

Because-The Last Time Zone - George Clinton & the P-Funk Allstars

Song:
I guess it's kind of cheating to have two songs, but the last one was really about this lyrics, and this ones more about the song in it's entirety! It's the first song from the first Funkadelic album: "Mommy, What's a Funkadelic?"

Mommy, Whats a Funkadelic? - Funkadelic
"Let me kiss your mind. Let me slide a yard of tongue down your throat; there's nothing wrong with that - merely a kiss. Or is everyone afraid to say kiss me, baby?"
"Dedicated to the feeling of good - and, baby, I'm good at being good"
"Let me play with your emotions, for nothing is good unless you play with it"
"What's so nasty about funky music? Feels good to me"
"We don't need no words, just feelings"
"I was cool but I had no groove. But now? Fly on, baby. Fly on, cause I got it"

Quote:
"There are only two ways to live. One is as though nothing is a miracle, the other is as if everything is"
-Albert Einstein

Item of clothing:
Tough call but I'll give it to this stunningly beautiful caftan I'm selling on my online vintage store. For one thing, it's my favourite colour (electric blue), it has a fantastic ethnic print and richly colourful designs.

Place:
I really love London, San Francisco and New Mexico, but I guess the place I relate to the most is my hometown: Victoria, BC. Its a fantastic mix of gorgeous natural beauty and exciting city life (I sound like a travel brochure, I know, but I am pathetically in love with Victoria).

Disney princess:
I asked Nicola to help me on this one and she suggested Princess Jasmine. This was obviously thrilling as Jasmine is the most awesome Disney princess of all. According to her Wikipedia page, she is "shown to be brave, intelligent, strong, independent, fiery, and charitable. She can also be quite cunning." I do love the word "cunning". Also Nicola said she could picture me in her outfit, and I could too.

This was the best tag ever.

its the way you flip your hair and the stylish clothes you wear, when you walk into the room all my partners stop and stare

It's time for another exciting round of plugging vintage by answering fake letters demanding help choosing clothing for obscure (also fake events). The clothes, however, are real, and being sold by myself on my online vintage store Safe as Milk Vintage or my friend Nicola on her online vintage store Nicola's Vintage Boutique.

The fast track to being cool and stylish, as everyone knows, is to let a stranger tell you how to dress. So sit back, relax and dig.

Situation:
"I enjoy taking to my boat to cruise the peninsula, but my fashion-obsessed preteen daughter is not the nautical type. She'd much rather be shopping for tank tops to show off her toned arms (she's quite the softball player, you know). Anyway, her birthday is coming up and I'd like to buy her something to encourage her to sailboat more often with us, as she is a slave to her own clothing and will do whatever it hints that she should (for this very reason, she no longer shops at Hot Topic). What do you suggest I do?"
Solution:
Your entire family seems to have issues far beyond my abilities but I can hook you and your daughter up with a very charming sailboat tank top.
This top is perfect for a smaller girl, either someone young or someone quite petite. I just love the sailboat design, and the overall 70's vibe. Find it here.

Situation:
"I am obsessed with London fashion. Specifically, the 60's mod scene and the 90's rave scene. I often dream of ways these two worlds could collide but it seems, sadly, that this could probably never be. Anyway, now that I've rambled to you for a bit about a fully unrelated topic that is definitely not foreshadowing of any sort, I will get down to my query and it is this: I am a contestant in the Banana Sunrise Leg O' The Morning To Ya beauty pagaents (it's a bit obscure). It involves dressing up in yellow and showing off one's legs (plus we get bonus points for a little cleavage). As I am known for my vintage flair, I need to take something old and make it look new and exciting (and flaunt my legs - and cleavage!)"
Solution:
How funnily coincidental that you should mention a desire for a mod/rave yellow minidress with cleavage. For Nicola happens to be a selling an extremely fetching little number of the very sort!Legs? Check. Cleavage? Check. Yellow? Check. Plus it's super mod, with a neon raver flair (you can't tell it very well in the picture, but it is, in fact, quite neon). And the cut-outs add a whole new element of excitement sure to impress the judges. Miss Banana Sunrise 2009, no need for thanks, just click here.

Situation:
"I consider myself to be something of a quirky soul. I enjoy eccentric dress and fun accessories. Recently I chopped my formerly-long-and-luxuious hair off and, though I love my new style, I have noticed a gaping space between my earlobes and my shoulders. For some reason, I find this unsettling. I need some large earrings to fill the literal void above my shoulders and the figurative void of not wearing enough cool accessories.
I also have a deep affinity for nocturnal creatures. There's just something about preying at night I find thoroughly exciting."
Solution:
If by "preying at night" you mean "wearing owl earrings", well, I can help your life get a whole lot more exciting.

Boom. Now, do you love it or do you want to sacrifice a litter of kittens to wear it on your ears? Okay, just loving it is enough for me. Give in to your own desires here.

Situation:
"I looooooooove The Who. Like, looooooooooooooove. Soo badass, with the blind pinballing and the bleeding hands and the "YOU CAN'T HAVE IT" and the mod beginnings and whatnot. ANYWHO, strangely enough, what I love most about The Who is their early 80's period. When I saw them on their '82 American tour, my brain was blown so wide open I'm still missing a small chunk of my frontal lobe. Is there anything vintage I could wear to flaunt my highly specified feelings about The Who?"
Solution:
Strangely, yes. Would an original '82 Who concert t-shirt do it for ya?
Faded to rock-star goodness, this rock tee will bring the badass to every occasion. You don't even need your frontal lobe to enjoy it - just a click here.

Situation:
"I love the 1960's and most particularly the London mod scene of the times. I work in an office and need a mod-like outfit that would be appropriate to wear to work. I also fancy one of my co-workers and would like to emphasize my blue eyes, as I saw on a Facebook survey he posted that eyes are his "favourite part of the opposite sex". I also love the look of buttons but lack the full dexterity to maneuver them. Please help."
Solution:
It's like shooting rubber duckies in a barrel. Would this mod minidress suit your needs?
Yes, yes, it would. The style = mod and appropriate for the office, the pattern = fun and original, the buttons = ornamental, the colour = very complimentary for blue eyes. You're good to go! Just click here.